23- Mike

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"Fuck" I grunt stupidly bunching the stone wall but at this moment I feel absolutely nothing as the uncomfortable feeling in my chest is all I'm feeling right now.

Watching her walk away is absolutely the right thing to do but also the fucking hardest thing because in this short time she because my peace in my crazy life and my happy place.

I was close to telling her that I've already chose to end my marriage but because I know that no matter what it wouldn't work between us, so there is no point. It would just make it harder to end as we would be deeper in and feelings would get involved.

"Fuck Lottie, what are you doing to me?" I mutter

"Dad?" I hear the shocked voice of my son making me freeze then slowly turn around to face him.

"Hey buddy, what are you doing out here?" I ask hoping he didn't see or hear anything.

My stomach begins turning with the guilt and nerves at seeing him in front of me, praying to god my son didn't see anything but at the same time if he did, I won't be forcing him to hide it and keep quiet, that's not fair to do to him I certainly won't ask him to lie for me.

I've already fucked up so much I won't force that onto my son.

"Couldn't sleep" he mutters walking further into the cave "what's going on dad?"

"What do you mean?" I ask him Nervously.

"I saw Charlie running from here crying" he says confused but I can see he is trying to work things out in his head.

It hurts to know that Lottie is obviously hurting right now and there is nothing I can do about that, this isn't what I wanted.

"Then I come here and see you getting angry and talking to yourself about 'Lottie doing so,etching to you' I know you call Charlie Lottie since we met them and her crying means something obviously happened" he says staring straight at me.

I sigh looking at him hoping to god he doesn't hate me after this.

"Im so sorry son"

"What?" He asks confused "why was Charlie crying dad? What did you do?"

"I don't know whether to be proud for you wanting ti defend her or be angry you think I could do something bad to her"

He huffs "I don't mean it like that, just tell me what the hell is going on"

"First I want to say again I'm very sorry, I hope to for you don't hate me after this. Now that you are 18 I'm going to be completely honest with you and I won't ask you to lie or to hide this for me" I say before taking a deep breath brushing my fingers through my hair nervously.

"When I picked the girls up at the airport, as soon as I saw Lottie I felt different but didn't understand what it was, I just knew she was beautiful" I tell him honestly.

"You realised she hot?" He smirks making me raise my eyebrow at him

"What? She is hot, I've thought that for years" he says with a shrug

I chuckle shaking my head at him "I realised how beautiful she was, yes. Anyway as the days past I realised it wasn't just me who was having these feelings. Though I tried to ignore them when I went back home from New York, she was packing Lacey's bag in her room and we almost kissed but got interrupted. I told her it was a mistake and wouldn't happen again which obviously pissed her off" I start then pause checking if he was taking it in and if his shocked face is anything to go by then he is indeed listening.

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