Honey and Sky | Jean Kirstein x OC

8 | Honey

Lena sat at one of the tables outside Trost's headquarters, under the shade provided by the veranda, grateful for the rest. A few minutes later she was joined by Jean, who was carrying a bottle skin and some rations.

"Here, this is all I could get," he said, leaving the items on the table and sitting down in front of her.

Lena was about to thank him, but then she remembered that the boy still hadn't deigned to apologize or try to make things right with her since he'd been so rude a few weeks ago, so she let her pride get the worst of her and looked away, interlacing her fingers on the table.

"Hey," Jean exclaimed when he got no response from her, but she remained silent. Jean sighed. "Are you really still at it?"

Lena knew she wasn't showcasing the greatest sense of maturity, but she didn't feel like acting as if nothing had happened. That would only teach the boy that he could treat her that way whenever he wanted, and that she'd let him. So she stuck to her guns.

"Do you really think this is an appropiate time to be mad about that dumb thing?"

That did it. Lena glared murderously at him, seeing his stupid arrogant expression along the way, and got up ready to leave. Then she felt his fingers close around her forearm.

"Okay, don't go, I'm sorry!," he said quickly, leaning across the table until he reached her.

Lena let him stop her, but didn't sit down. She glanced at him and found that there was no trace of the haughtiness with which he usually painted his face. Instead she found a pained expression, the eyes rounded, the eyebrows pointed upwards, almost imploring her not to leave him alone. Lena felt a pang in her heart. She couldn't abandon a comrade who obviously needed company just like that. Still, she tried not to be carried away by sentimentality. She raised her eyebrows slightly and waited for him to continue. Jean exhaled sharply, almost looking relieved, and released her forearm.

"I know you were just trying to help me," he said, lowering his voice. He also lowered his gaze to the floor. "I..., I'm not ready to talk about it yet. But when I am..., I'd like you to be the one to listen to me."

Lena deflated. Her whole tough and proud facade was shattered into tiny pieces as she saw the boy's sad look. His slightly slanted eyes, normally showing so much confidence and assurance; this was almost the first time Lena saw some emotion in them. Of human need.

"I'm sorry for having snapped back at you like that," he said to finish, searching her eyes.

That was all she'd expected to get, but she'd ended up getting so much more.

She nodded slightly, showing that she accepted his apology, and sat back down. He did the same. She suddenly remembered how thirsty and hungry she was, but restrained herself from satisfying her needs, choosing to drink and eat decorously instead of devouring the rations the way her empty stomach was begging her to do.

"Thank you," she said quietly after taking a small gulp of water.

"You're welcome," Jean said, watching her. "Anyway... how are you feeling?"

His tone made clear the specific meaning of his question: "How do you feel having discovered that two of our closest comrades, one of whom you were attracted to, are the biggest traitors and murderers of humanity?"

Lena sighed exhaustedly. She'd been turning that very question over in her mind for hours, almost since the night before, and she felt she could finally get the tangle of dark thoughts that populated her mind out into the open.

"Deceived... Betrayed... Like everyone else," she said, staring into infinity, hunched over the table as she thought. "No. No, for me it goes beyond that. I feel used. Humiliated. Ridiculous even."