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"Damn, it feel good to have you."
To say that yesterday was a field day would be an understatement. I couldn't sleep at all. The thought that I was the reason Nicki's l life was ruined pierced my mind. I felt awful, and I just wanted to make her happy, but deep down, I knew she needed more than that, she needed more than me. It was 5 in the morning, the sun was creeping up behind the houses across the street, causing me to yawn. I looked down at Nicki, who was holding my hand as she was knocked out. I laughed as a response, seeing that she was at peace though it took almost all night to get her there.
"You don't deserve this, Angel," I whispered as I lifted her hand to my lips, to this, her eyes fluttered open and a small smile crept up on her face. It took her a while to fully open her eyes, but when she did, the tear marks and bags were visible. I felt my heart shatter as I knew that I lost the bright Nicki that once could give light to a dark room. "Good morning," I said with a smile, she slowly sat up, just to rest her head on my chest.
"H-hi." she yawned out, wiping her face in the process.
"How did you sleep?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She shrugged before rubbing her eyes and then playing with the worn fabric of my shirt.
"I'm hungry," she stated shortly, looking up at me with this innocent smile. I laughed before placing a kiss on her forehead. I've come to understand that Nicki will take a long nap and wake up starving.
"Okay, I'll see what we got." I gently moved myself off of the bed, hearing another loud yawn from her. Once I walked to the kitchen, I smelled breakfast already being made. A breath of relief escaped my mouth and my mom laughed as a reply.
"Finally, you're up!" she chirped, wiping her hands on her apron. I nodded before looking around the kitchen. My mom usually likes to wake up early and put on church music while cooking and cleaning, though I've never taken a liking to this because she would always involve me. "Yall hungry?" she asked, turning herself towards me.
"Uh, yeah.." I replied, confused about how she knew that Nicki was there.
"Good, 'cause I made too much food for just the two of us. Anyways, last night I came home from work and I heard some sobbing, and you look a mess, what happened?" she asked, walking closer to me. I looked away, feeling that painful lump in my throat, however, she moved my face so I was looking at her. That's when I broke down in her arms, which caused her to instantly hold me tightly. "It's okay, just tell me what happened."
"Nicki and her family got into a fight and it's all My fault!" I sobbed on her shoulder. "Maybe Nicki should've never signed up for college, maybe we shouldn't have ever met!"
"Don't say that Beyonce! You've said it yourself, Nicki has always wanted to go to college. It seems like her family only wants her to stay so they can continue to manipulate her. It's not your fault, if anything, you're saving her. I know y'all love each other so much, she wants to do this with you." my mom said softly as she stroked my hair. "You need to calm down and see that this isn't your fault. You did a good thing for Nicki, though it doesn't feel like that at the moment."
