Chapter Two - Letting go of the past is not that easy...

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At first, it was really hard. I was trapped in a body where I couldn't just do what I wanted. I was at the mercy of other people and I desperately missed my old life, my family. I was a terrible baby. When I remembered them and got sad I started crying like it was the end of the world. I couldn't control it. I didn't want to cry and tire my new parents out all the time, but... It wasn't easy to let go.

I had so many regrets. I didn't spend enough time with my family and didn't pay enough attention to them. I thought we had plenty of time. But you can only spend time with people while they are still alive and while you are still alive. After that, there is no more chance.  I felt like I missed a lot of opportunities because I was instead meeting friends, watching movies or playing games on my phone or anything else. And they are not bad things, but balance is important. I feel like everything was before my family. Too often I ignored them and said that not now.

And my boyfriend... I feel like I have never expressed to him how grateful I am for his love and support and how much I love him. I wanted to tell him after creating some special atmosphere that I want to go to the same university too but.... Frankly, I died before I could do it. To hell with the special settings. Making him happy should have been more important than keeping him waiting for such a silly reason.

My new parents loved me so much that I felt bad accepting their affection like I would do a disservice to my old parents. How stupid! But it also seemed unfair to treat them coldly. They were just characters in a novel, but after spending a few years with them they became real people who could bleed, feel pain and cry.

I remember the first time I realized it, I was around 3 years old. There was a rumour that Damren was cheating on Anliliana and she was so upset that she started embroidering quite wildly. She made her hand into a pincushion. Her aura was also rather sinister so the servant didn't dare to approach her.

Damren must have heard the gossip somewhere because he rushed home to make sure his wife did not believe such nonsense and he was very angry when he saw her hands.

„I swear these rumours are nonsense. I would never look at another woman." He said very passionately on his knees.

„Of course, I know that." She snorted not very femininely.

„Then why?" He seemed lost.

„Because I became upset that there are people who will believe it and I am pregnant and I can't control my feelings even though I wanted to tell you this in a happy mood but..." She couldn't finish it because he hugged her fiercely and kissed her lips lightly.

„Shh." He tried to calm her down. „I will make sure that not a single person will believe it and punish that fool who started it. You just need to concentrate on being happy and peaceful. For your and our child's health.

Anliliana's eyes were red and she was still crying and Damren looked like someone who couldn't decide between feeling annoyed or happy. But they still made a beautiful, loving couple and they were dazzling, almost too bright to look at.

Until now I was on the floor, playing on my own but I stood up without realising it and took a step towards them. The writer never mentioned multiple children so I assumed I would be the only child but it seems I was wrong. I wasn't a good sibling in my past life but maybe...

No matter what I do I can't change the past or erase my regrets. What I can do is not repeat them, but learn from them. These people are living, breathing beings before my eyes. Even if we exist in a book compared to my previous reality, we are alive right here and right now. That is our current reality. I must not do this anymore... I need to let go of my past and live in this new life as a new person. I didn't do enough for my family before, but I can be different in this new world. I can try to make this family happy and spend the rest of my life with them, so I can avoid the same regret when I die again.

Yes, I will live for my family in this life.

I took one more and one more step towards them.

„Mama, papa!" My voice sounded weird to my ears. I was a very quiet child because I was afraid I would say something wrong so I preferred to stay silent. And this was probably the first time I called them like this.

„Liri!" My father caught me under my arm to lift me and put me on his lap. „Are you happy to have a sibling?"

„Will you be a good big sister, my sweet child?" My mother stroked my hair and I looked up at her and nodded seriously.

„Yes, I will." She smiled sweetly at me and kissed my forehead. „I feel so much better. Who cares about rumours when I am so blessed with such a wonderful family?" She put her head on my father's shoulder and continued to stroke my hair. My father put his free hand around her waist and pulled her closer. I felt like we became a family at that moment.

By the way, are you curious as to who spread that stupid rumour? It was an unmarried young lady who wanted to appear more appealing and popular, so she told everyone that her unparalleled beauty had seduced even a devoted man like my father. In the end, she failed to ever get married after he publicly ridiculed her. Of course, some people thought he was so harsh with her because it was true and he just wanted to protect his name and reputation, but he never got into trouble like that again in his life, so that proved him right. 

And as someone who witnessed it all, I can tell you that their love was never anything but true. 

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