From afar - Seungjin

Chapter 20 - Remember me

"Sh-shit." Seungmin falls to his knees and quickly begins to pick up the fallen shelf. Tears were pricking the corner of his eyes as anyone could see the shaky hands he was trying to pick things up with.

I walk over and crouch down next to him, placing a hand on his back as my voice comes out broken, "Seungmin-ah."

The boy stops scrambling and looks up to meet my eyes. The golden hour was fading as the room felt dimmer. The atmosphere was drowning now.

"Answer my question." I say quietly, watching the way seungmins adams apple bobbed as he gulped, "Please Minnie."

Silence fills the room before seungmin looks away with a sniff and he wipes the streaming tears on his cheeks. "I shouldn't have-" He chokes out, "P-please I'm sorry Hyunjin." He looks back into my eyes with fresh tears slipping down his cheeks.

I look down to see his small hand clutching the denim of my jeans. "I'm not going anywhere Seungmin." I look up when I realize what he was fearing. This was what I never wanted to ever happen.

He thinks I'm going to resent him for what happened. I could see the fear in his eyes. Even if he were to stab me right now, I could never ever hate Seungmin. My brain isn't coded that way.

"And I'm not mad." I add on, slightly curving my lips into a reassuring smile. Never would I ever be. Seungmin was my everything now.

Seungmin sits back onto his butt, letting his legs fall flat, "I r-remember you." He whispers, "H-how could I forget?"

I sigh and sit down on the floor with him, "My mom visited me again this weekend." I explain calmly, "She told me some things I had forgotten too."

Seungmin looks down at his hands, "I'm really sorry h-hyunjin." Tear drops fall onto his hands, "I s-shouldn't have ignored you b-back then."

"It's okay Seungminnie." I sniff and place a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure you didn't mean it."

"Y-your right." Seungmin wipes another tear, "My m-mom would say some really bad things and I-i was so young... I believed her."

"It's okay." I whisper as I pull seungmins head into my chest, "It's not your fault."

Seungmin buries his face in my neck, "I'm so sorry." He keeps repeating the phrase into my shoulder, his voice hoarse and shaky.

When I realize we had been sitting in an uncomfortable position on the floor, I slowly lift seungmin up in my arms and place him on my bed. He kept apologizing over and over again, I knew he was a bit out of it.

The moment I tried to walk away, seungmin reached out and tugs on my sleeve. When I turn around his eyes were filled to the brim with tears, "N-no I'm sorry! Don't leave me!" He cries out, the loudest I've ever heard his voice go. He was at the brink of completely breaking down.

I grab his hand between mine, "I'll be right back Minnie. I'm just going to change okay?"

Seungmin still seemed tense when I slowly let go of his hand but he gave a small nod. I smile at him once more before turning back around to go back to the bathroom.

I came back in record time, and fresh clothes, to find Seungmin standing by the wall, trying to put the shelf that had fallen back up. Soft sniffles were still emitting from him when I walk up to the boy.

Slowly, I wrap my arms around his waist, letting myself fall into his touch. "Minnie. It's okay, let's go to bed."

Seungmin stares at the dinosaur as he puts it back on the shelf and doesn't say a word when I lead him back onto the bed. He simply gets back into the covers and stares at it from afar.

I join him in the bed, moving closer so that our sides would touch. "Seungminnie? Do you wanna... talk more about it?"

Seungmin looks down to his hands, the tears that were thought to have stopped return. Fresh streams flow down his cheeks, covering the old dried ones, "You were my first friend."

I hum, getting comfortable next to him as seungmin slowly begin to lean into me. I wrap an arm around his waist again and keep him in my arms.

"I-I never thought someone- anyone- w-would ever want to be my friend." Seungmin fist returns to my shirt, holding onto his fabric like always. "And you- you played with me l-like I was anybody e-else. You were like... l-like my hero."

With that, I pull seungmin closer to me so that we were completely hugging, his cheek resting on my chest as both of his hands were at either side of my shirt and my hand was softly patting his head. "You were my hero seungmin."

"N-no I wasn't."

"You were." I smile fondly thinking of my fascination over the boy, "You were the only person I wanted to be friends with. And I really really liked you."

Seungmin begins to quietly sob into my arms, his body shaking with each breath, "I-I'm so sorry." He whimpers again.

"Please don't be please." I frown and hold him closer, "I told you that you never have to say sorry to me. Ever."

The boy continues to cry in my arms, "all I-I've ever done I-is hurt you."

"Don't say that." Tears were threatening to fall from my own eyes. "Nobody has made me as happy as you have."

The boy slowly lifts his tear covered face, he looks up at my with wide eyes, "R-really?"

"Really." I smile down at him.

"B-but I ignored you. And I- I always ignored everything you did for me- e-even when I wanted to talk to you s-so bad." Seungmin mumbles, "I was s-scared of what my mom would say is she found out."

"I know Minnie I know." I say softly, "She must've said some messed up things huh?"

"M-mom thought I was- she thought- you w-were-" Seungmin chokes on his own words.

"That was I infecting you. Making you... gay?" I finish his thought and seungmin quietly nods.

Seungmins grip on me becomes tighter, "I don't care a-about what she says now! Trust me!" His voice peaks again, almost scaring me that he might strain his vocal chords.

"I trust you seungmin." I hold him against my chest, breathing in his scent. "I always have."

"Thank you." The younger whispers. His tears leaving wet spot on my tee shirt, but I couldn't care less.

"of course." Another smile breaks my lips as I pat his hair gently, hoping he would drift off to sleep soon. "I said I'd do anything for you."

"I d-don't deserve this." Seungmin leans closer, hugging me so desperately. His head right up against my heartbeat as his arms wrap all the way around my waist.

"Don't deserve what?" I question in a soft tone, my hand moving up and down his back now soothingly.

"I don't deserve t-to be this comfortable. I-I've never felt like this." He whispers, the shakiness in his voice slowly fading as his eyes flutter shut.

"I'll be here for you forever. I've promised that since I was a kid."

"R-really?" The youngers voice was distant.

"I even kept our dinosaur. Hyunjin Jr. Youve always been my hero." I whisper as seungmins eyes remain shut, his breathing slowly leveling out, "And I'd never leave my hero."

A/n
WHO CUTTING ONIONS RN!????

AHHH IM DYING

anyways how's everything going guys? Yall have a good valentine? I hope so but if not...
I'll be your valentine, just like few days late but it's wtvr gang. Single ready to mingle ahaha.
(Preferably if you were Kim Seungmin but we can't all get what we want)

Thinking abt mama coco with this title and now I'm crying. No way yall can watch that scene or hear the song and not burst out into a fat eye sweat drops.

I LOVE YOU MAMA COCO COME BACK PLEASEEEE AHHHHHH

anyways. HOPE YOU ENJOYED!