| Ep 19 |

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When I pull up to his house, I get off with him, wanting to hang around for a bit. Tyler heads straight for the shower to get cleaned up and I knock on their bedroom door. I hear Taylor's voice, welcoming me in. I poke my head in and her face lights up when she sees me. She's sitting on the bottom bunk with a blanket wrapped around her. She looks gloomy, so I plop down beside her and ask,

"What's with that face?" I question very bluntly but genuinely.

She brings her knees up to her chest, "Did he actually go to practice today?"

I ignore the fact that she dodged my question and instead raise my brows in confusion. Why would she even ask that?

"Of course he did. I just picked him up, he's showering right now." I notice her bite her bottom lip and turn away, "Taylor..."

She doesn't respond.

"He hasn't been going to practice all week...hasn't he?" I ask slowly, already knowing the answer just from the way she looked away.

She turns back around to face me and nods, "Yeah..."

I groan and stand up from her bed, "Tay! You can't let him do that!"

"Do what?" Tyler strolls into the room, now in fresh clothes. He ruffles his wet hair with a towel, cocking his head to the side.

I whip my head around to face him and narrow my eyes, "You've been skipping practice! What is wrong with-"

He immediately shoots a glare at his sister, who's burying her face behind the blanket, "You promised you wouldn't tell her!"

"I didn't even tell her anything! She figured it out!" She defends.

I take a step closer and shove his chest lightly, "Tyler, you can't be skipping! Your whole future will be in jeopardy if you keep that up! You only went today because I was picking you up, right?!"

"Yeah..." He walks over to sit himself down beside Taylor, staring down at his feet.

Taylor lets out a deep sigh, eyeing her brother worriedly, "...We can't keep skipping."

"We?! You're skipping mechanics club? God, what is up with you two-"

"We get it, Y/N..." Tyler cuts me off, locking eyes with me, "I need baseball to get into college and Tay's mechanics club has job connections, we get it."

"So, then why-"

"Does any of that matter if we die?"

I fall silent quickly, giving the both of them disappointed looks. There is no way in hell this was how they were thinking now.

"So, what? You want to throw all of your guys' hard work away? Your plans? Your dreams?"

"No..." Taylor responds, avoiding my gaze.

The room goes completely silent for a bit. I plop down onto the desk chair across the room, resting my hands on my knees as I tilt my head down.

"Things just had to become more complicated, didn't it?" Tyler adds, running a hand through his hair.

I sigh and look up from the floor, "We'll figure something out, okay?"

Tyler and I look right into each other's eyes, almost as if we are trying to communicate without saying a thing. They widen a bit before he nods, "Right."

I stand up from my chair and walk over to the bedroom door, "I should head home. Do some homework before...you know..."

"Okay." Taylor responds before ducking under the sheets she was previously wrapped in. Tyler stands up from his sister's bed and approaches me.

"I'll walk you out."

I step onto the front porch and he follows, slightly closing the door behind him.

"Y/N." He says neutrally.

"Yeah?"

"You're shaking." He points at my trembling hands resting at my sides. I raise them up and try to make it stop. He places his hands over mine and lets out a deep breath, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know...I didn't even notice until you pointed it out just now."

He stares down at my hands, tracing shapes over them to calm my nerves, "You're scared."

He wasn't asking, he was telling me how I felt. He knows the feeling. He's probably feeling it too.

"I just don't want to keep doing this," I finally elaborate, my voice growing quiet, "What'll happen if I die there? Do I die here? Do I never wake up? W-What if-"

"Stop," His grip on my hands tightens, "Don't think about that."

"But even you said it-"

"I know what I said. I'm sorry for even bringing it up. But, don't even think about that, alright? Just like you said, we'll figure something out."

We eventually break off and I hop off his porch, walking along the path to the sidewalk. Tyler then calls out to me once more,

"And Y/N?"

I turn around, "Yeah?"

"You're not dying out there. I won't let you."

---

Lying on my back in bed, I stare up at the ceiling blankly, feeling millions of thoughts flood my brain restlessly. I tap my chest with my fingers anxiously, constantly glancing over at my alarm clock on my bedside table.

11:58 pm

As each second ticks by, I feel my heartbeat quicken and my breaths shorten. I sit up and rest my back against the headboard of my bed. I place a hand over my chest, trying to relax my breathing before the shift. I need my mind to be as clear as possible while I'm in there.

I reach for my phone on my nightstand and open the messages app. I click on one of my pinned contacts at the top and type rapidly,

I feel like I can't breathe.

Immediately, a speech bubble appears, and I wait for his response.

11:59 pm

A grey message pops up on the screen,

Remember, I'll be right there with you. So will everyone else. You aren't alon-

I don't get to finish reading what he sent when my mind goes blank for a moment and I feel as if my soul disconnected from my body. It's time.

12:00 am

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