Good Girl's Secret

Chapter five

The wind kisses my features quickly as I walk back from school, memories flash in my head, and a specific one seems to hiss in my ear, trying to remind me of my regrets and setbacks.

Flashback.

"Come on please, please please." Anne whined.

"No means no." I replied.

She huffed unamused, glaring at me.

"If you aren't going, then I'm going alone." She said.

"Fine, fine." I raised my hands in defeat.

Anne-belle was trying hard to take me to the party, but I had a gut feeling something will happen, reaching there we accidentally had gotten drunk, by someone spiking our drink, as we hazels giggled and danced around sweaty people in the huge house, we didn't even know who's party it was, one of the most reasons I was reluctant to go, in that time, I could faintly hear the sirens, people's eyes widened, and I could faintly remember what happened next other then ending up locked up.

The day my mom finally nailed me out, which was several days later, I took the harshest beating of my life, even when trying to explain to her that someone has spiked my drinks, I was called far too many names, I was burnt by her cigaret as she she made it dig into my skin, my screams were shallow and soft, not having enough energy and because there was a cloth stopping them from coming out, kicks and punches, knives and stitches, I was finally left alone, and I wish I was drunk not to feel the amount of pain then, I just wish there was an escape.

Flashback end.

I sighed shaking my head, tears brimmed my vision, but no I won't allow myself to cry, I just silently left myself to fend with my thoughts and music after plugging in my head phones.

Turns out that no one can replace me

I'm permanent you can't erase me

I hope you remember me

One more kiss is all it takes

I'll leave you with the memories

And the aftertaste

I sang along softly to Shawn Mendes, his lyrics calming me down, the song ended and as if on cue, a voice talked.

"Nice voice."

I whipped around to see Adam, I stared at him not answering, before walking again.

"What, no hi?" He said.

With a huff, I answered a small 'hi'.

"Hey, what's wrong." He asked softly.

What the heck, is he freaking bipolar, did he not remember I had slapped him.

"I am fine." I replied firmly.

"Are you?"

"Am I?" I replied confusing him.

"You're confusing."

"Cause I care." With that I had left him.

I keep thinking about suicide, a way to escape the world, I had no one to reply on, not even Anne or Anthony, why couldn't I just possibly leave the world, but it's just wrong, the idea is wrong, no matter how much I would want to do it, no matter the pain, I should stay.

The thing is so people these days, they either stay but not completely, leave, whether they had the choice or not, or hurt you.

Then there is me.

I never found myself drop dead gorgeous, neither ugly, average, just another mindless soul, another broken heart added to the crowd, mistakes filling my heads, and more regrets then ever, cause god dammit I never do anything right.

Frustration builds up on me, I storm in the house, noticing it's empty and sigh in relief.

I run up to my room, I smash things, I punch the wall, I break everything I have.

Why does this even happen, why does his happen to me, why do I deserve this?

I feel my heart breaking, I feel myself withering, I can't breathe, I do t want to be here, I don't, I don't.

I run out of my house to see Adam on my lawn, I run past him faster and faster, cause I cannot do this anymore I need to go, I need to leave, this is way too hard.

Memories still flash in my head as I run, Adam calling, following my footsteps.

Flashback

"I love you." Dad says.

"I love you too, a lot more daddy." I reply hugging him.

It isn't until his death happens, I saw him fall, limp, after fighting endlessly for me, tears gather in my eyes, what happened to my daddy.

Flashback end.

I finally fall down and crash to the ground as Adam catches up on me, he picks me up and places me on the chair near by.

"What's wrong? Please tell me." He pleads.

I don't reply, I just keep shaking in his arms, muttering 'it's my fault', 'I don't want to be here'. He asks 'why but I still don't reply, I just cry and cry, shutting myself from the world.

.
.
.
.
Sorry if his is short, and I didn't update on time, but oh well vote and comment what you think, I love you all, next Saturday I will update, don't you worry.
All the love,
Lara.