Never The Same

Chapter Eighteen

It's been about a week now and things haven't really changed. I still tense up when he comes near me. I can't talk to him unless he asks me a question, because I never know what to say. It kind of scares me that this could be the rest of my life. But I'm hoping something will change.

Asher wakes up in the morning at nine o'clock, which is nearly an hour and a half after I wake up. It's really boring, but it gives me time to think and time away from him. And that can't be too bad I guess. I pretend to be sleeping when he walks out of his room, that way he doesn't feel like he needs to wake up earlier on my account.

He goes into kitchen to make breakfast and right about halfway is when I wake up for the second time. I just sit there while he cooks. It's been different almost everyday, a mix between waffles and pancakes, french toast, biscuits and gravy, and omelettes. When he's finished, he'll bring me out a plate and sit on the opposite side of the couch.

"How'd you sleep?" That's a question he asked almost every morning. I always said something close to 'good' or 'okay'. Then I'd ask him the same thing. And his response was the same thing as mine.

It's kind of funny actually. Sometimes he talks in a firm demanding voice, displaying his dominance over me. Then he speaks with a sympathetic voice, sad almost when he has something more on his mind. I have kind of given up trying to understand him, because I have finally realized that I never will.

After we finish eating, he typically goes out to do the dishes. Then he comes back to the living room and puts in a movie for me to watch while he's gone. Sometimes when he doesn't have to leave yet, he'll walk around the house and do whatever. He kisses my forehead, sighs, then walks out the door.

He goes to work from 10:30 to 12:30. Most of the time it's Monday through Friday, but he's been mentioning how he might take another day of two off each week. I've just agreed with him because I don't want to start another fight.

About a day and a half after I came to this abandoned cabin, Asher was upset with me since I refused to talk to him. He yelled at me and I yelled back and then things got really bad.

"So, you wanna watch Princess Bride or Transformers?" He glared at me waiting for an answer.

I shrugged my shoulders like I always did, but I knew I shouldn't have because there's a certain point where people just break. And this was his point.

"When are you gonna start talking to me Em?" His voice raised firmly.

I shrugged my shoulders again. It was a game now, but I wasn't sure if was a game I would win or lose. Either way I was already too far in to back out.

"When are you going to start acting like," his voice was really loud. It bellowed throughout the room which made the echo effect everlasting before I cut him off.

"When are you gonna start treating me like a person," I screamed. "When are you going to realize that I'm more than just your..." I slowed down a bit then stopped.

"More than just my what?" His eyes were dead as always.

"More than just your victim," I said and stood up, still tied together.

His voice softened. "Is that what you think you are?"

My voice didn't go any lower. "That's what I've always been, ever since the day we met."

"No, no it's not."

"Stop lying to me Asher," I yelled. "Stop lying to yourself."

And that was where he shattered. He shook his head and pulled his hand back. I didn't know why I wasn't expecting what was coming next. He slapped me across the face and it caused me to lose my footing and fall to the floor.

I didn't bother getting up. My eyes watered and I didn't even try to stop crying. I lied there helpless and Asher grabbed for my hand, so I could get up, but I refused to let him touch me.

I didn't want that to happen again. He's felt bad about it since then and to be honest I'm kind of using it to my advantage. That might be the only reason he hasn't taken days off yet, but I can't be quite sure.

When Asher comes back from work, he always brings lunch from the same deli that's down the street from his building. I get a turkey sandwich with Swiss cheese, mayonnaise, and tomatoes on rye bread. Most of the time Asher gets the same thing, but every once in a while he will switch it up.

After lunch, he gets out a book that we read together, well more like he reads to me. Sometimes we play a board game, like scrabble, checkers, apples to apples, and battleship. Other times we color together, which can be pretty cool, because we each get half the page, exactly down the middle. The color choices are diverse and it's pretty cool to see how it looks in the end. But I would never admit that to him.

When we eat dinner, it's usually at the table. Asher switches the handcuffs to the front so I can attempt to eat on my own. It's pretty hard, but I can usually do it. He helps me when I need it and I try as hard as I can to not need it. He's actually a good cook, I have to be honest. I mean, that's something I'd never tell him, except for the occasional 'it's good' when he asks how it is.

I get twenty minutes to shower once I'm ready after dinner. Asher takes off the cuffs and releases me into the bathroom. He waits outside the door with a gun in his hand. There aren't many windows, only one. And it's locked. It wouldn't be a smart idea to try and escape. Everyone knows there's no escape in a horror film.

We get ready for bed and Asher tucks me in on the couch. Then he goes to his room. Most of the time I stay up a little later and think about everything. It all just sucks. Everything.

That's a typical day.

But today was different.