Chapter 19

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Once I got home, it was already night time. Brahms wasn't around so he probably was somewhere upstairs. My stomach growled which reminded me that I missed dinner. I went into the fridge and found a bowl of spaghetti with a note attached to it. Garlic bread is in the oven. I grabbed the bowl, a fork, and a piece of garlic bread and sat at the kitchen table. I felt so lonely and bored eating by myself. Brahms must've felt this way too. After I finished eating, I went upstairs for bed. When I entered the room, I saw that Brahms was awake, sitting upright. He looked like he was in deep thought. But when I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was just about to go to sleep. Brahms shut off the lamp and laid down on the far end of the bed, facing away from me. Using the dim light of the night light, I changed into sleeping clothes and jumped into bed.

" When are you leaving?" He asked.

" Two days from now."

There was a slight pause before Brahms spoke again, " Oh...Where in the US?"

" Ohio."

" What time are you leaving?"

" 6 in the morning."

" How many people in your family?"

" In all, 4. My mom, dad, younger sister, and I."

Before Brahms could ask another question, I told him that I was really tired.

" Oh okay..." He said, " Goodnight."

After saying that, Brahms moved over to me and kissed the back of my head. Then, moved over to his side.

" Aren't we...Like, mad at eachother?" I asked.

" Yeah, but, we should still kiss eachother goodnight. You'll never know what could happen."

I'm trying to stay mad at him but he makes it so hard. The things he says and the way he acts.

~•~

The next day, I told my boss and coworkers about the trip and they were really happy for me. I was really excited to see my family tomorrow, but, I was worried for Brahms. A week is a long time and, I don't want to be on vacation knowing that things aren't good between us. One of us is going to have to apologize. Not me though, I didn't do anything wrong. Brahms is the one who should. But, he didn't. Today, he just ignored me. Not even saying a word. When I tried to start a conversation he'd act like I'm not even there. He knew I was there, he was just acting like a stupid jerk. I guess all the anger had built up inside of him. I thought, maybe tomorrow when I leave in the morning he'll apologize. Yeah, he is just waiting until then. It turned out I was wrong again. All he said to me before I walked out the door was, "Have a safe trip." That was like a slap in the face.

I stopped halfway out the door and stood facing away from Brahms. Watching the driver load my bags and suitcases into the trunk.

" Is that all you have to say?" I asked.

"...What else is there to say?"

" How about 'I love you' and 'I'll miss you'??"

There was a long silence. The only thing I could hear was my heart beating fast. Waiting for an answer.

" If I said that, I'd be lying to you."

At that moment, I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces. I couldn't believe he just said that. I walked to the car with my mouth ajar, with the look of surprise. On the plane, I cried and cried. I thought about the way he looked at me, it has changed into disgust and disappointment. And the way he said what he said. It sounded serious and truthful. Luckily, I took the window seat, otherwise, the people sitting next to me would've seen me. I just couldn't help myself from crying. Brahms hates me now.

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