The Autumn Love

Twenty One

"Kinza, look at that one." Hira pointed towards the beautiful ash grey lacy gown with navy blue sequin embroidery on long, tight sleeves. The three were on the shopping spree as she was free from exams. There was still a week's time in the return of Abdullah and her convocation so the whole family was busy in preparing for their reception. She was standing in front of the racks and that beautiful dress was grasping her attention. She looked at Hira with a vivid shine and the sales girls started taking her size. She desperately wanted to shop for her convocation also as Mish was thinking that Kinza was going to be the valedictorian. Her eyes were travelling through the various choices when a wine coloured long dress just stole her heart. It was complemented with magenta colored blazer. Her eyes always looked for perfection and this time, on both occasions of her life, she was going to be the perfect one again.

Within the next two hours they were showing the stuff to Ammi and she was busy in making prayers for Kinza. Placing the both trembling hands on her head Ammi kissed her forehead and she blushed. Each time when Ammi said her name with Abdullah a strange uneasiness gripped her. She was feeling all alone in that happy and loving family. Everybody was trying to cheer her up but neither the mischievous kids were able to spread smile on her lips nor the teasing of Mish, Hira or Amna was helping. She was tired of living alone. Most of the time she was found sleeping, or watching her graphic designs she once made, or looking for that bracelet with her hair locked in it, or that sparkling diamond ring in her finger.

Abdullah was busy there in recording the statements. The whole cricket world was supporting him and the framework of the country was not leaving any stone unturned in retrieving its best bowler. He was again high on fame. His enemies were active again. He was experiencing lobbying and bullying from the outsiders but he was somehow sure that his career would restore. It was another day when he just tried to call Ammi taking out a few minutes. Ammi was happy and even her sisters were. He talked to everybody but not with her as she was peacefully sleeping. Amna offered him to wake her up but he forbade her so the intensity grew only. 

That valve in her heart was again bleeding but she did not want to make another prayer for ceasing it, instead she was waiting for him to heal her wounds. She was waiting for that fine morning when he would be confessing his love. She was waiting for that night when he would protect her from the fear of darkness. She was waiting for the days when she would not be finding excuses to meet him. She was waiting for those days when he would be caressing her cheek without the hindrance of any tissue paper, when there would be no formalities, no limitations. She was waiting for the season of love but the strange birds that used to appear in the sky few days ago were migrating.

She was passing the days in the same way as he was. The needles on the clock were busy making every second a bit of her nostalgia, painful nostalgia. There were two days in her convocation but no news was satisfying her heart. She had been rehearsing for the occasion and now she was busy in giving her preparations a last touch. Staring at the paper of her speech a tear made the blue ink blurred and she brutally wiped it away. It was one of the biggest moments of her life but she was not enjoying it. She was missing him badly. When they were not knitted in that bond then she used to have slumbers in his memory but now even those dreams were not her friends anymore. She was sleeping in his bed but he was not there. Always resting her head in his pillow she wondered if they were created to live alone. She used to stare at hers blankly and no answer came into her mind.

...

It was finally the eve of her convocation and she had been busy in reserving the seats for Ammi, Mama and Dad. Checking her dress once again she sighed. She moved towards the dressing mirror and took all of her favourite palettes out. She was setting them in a neat manner when her eyes travelled to the couch where her shoes and clutch purse was placed. Sitting beside them she unzipped it and brought a piece of paper out.