Words I'll Never Say

♥{60} Move On

March 1st 2017, 06:50

"How do you know you've moved on?" My friend asked me as we took a walk by the sea.

I narrowed my eyebrows at her question and gazed into oblivion. "I think," I began, "it's when you stop remembering the way they used to do all the things that made you smile when you were sad, or how you'd stay up late with them, talking and laughing about everything. It's when it no longer hits you hard when you come across their favourite TV shows, when it doesn't hurt to hear their favourite songs on the radio."

"It's when you feel nothing at the thought of them, when it doesn't suffocate you to hear their name from a friend's mouth. It's when you stop fantasizing about them, when you stop whispering their name whenever it's 11:11."

"Instead," I breathed, "you start to wish for your own happiness, for your own smile and none of it will have anything to do with them anymore."

I glanced at her and found her deep in thought. "So, have you gotten over him?"

She stalled for a second, a bit taken aback by the sudden question. "Well," she replied, "no, not really, but I'm getting there."

But I knew better than to believe her. How did she expect to move on when she kept listening to his favourite songs on purpose? How did she expect to hate him when she was keeping his blue shirt in her closet just to smell it in the morning even though his smell no longer lingered in it? She was torturing herself. She was living inside her memories. And maybe 'living' isn't a good word. This torture cannot be called 'life'.

However, she corrected herself afterwards. "But I can't give up. Not on love at least."

"Honey you're not giving up on love. You're giving up on the torture. Give up the strains that keep pushing you to the ground every time you try to rise up. Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions."

"You deserve to move on.
You deserve to let go and release yourself from the past.
You deserve to step forward into new possibilities and opportunities.
You deserve to be happy, to genuinely smile and laugh uncontrollably.
You deserve closure.
You deserve to be with someone who fights for you and doesn't even think about giving up.
You deserve someone who sees the greatest within you, someone who unconditionally believes in you.
You deserve someone who looks at you and actually sees you.
You deserve someone who shows up.
You deserve someone who chooses you. Everyday. Everytime.
You deserve more than empty promises and false hope.
You deserve more than he's been giving you.
You deserve more than he'll ever be able to give you." I kept rambling non stop, even though I thought I wasn't making any sense.

"You deserve to find someone else, a person who'll make your heart dance again and set your soul free.
You deserve to wake up every morning next to the person you love, instead of with your loneliness and heartbreak.
You deserve breakfast in bed and 3 a.m conversations.
You deserve someone who makes you forget you've been broken, someone who isn't afraid of cutting himself picking up your broken pieces and molding them back together.
You deserve freedom and adventures, to spend your days taking in all life has to offer you.
You deserve sunrises and sunsets.
You deserve the universe and all the stars it holds throughout its darkness.
You deserve the calm of the sea.
You deserve the world at your feet."

"You deserve peace, within yourself.
You deserve to be happy again.
You deserve to have all the things your heart beats for.
You deserve to be loved.
You deserve love, angel. It's time to believe that."

~ Zeina

[A/N] This part is dedicated to a special friend and to everyone who's still holding on to an unhealthy relationship.