Heaven Knows

11.5: Anna

Heaven Know OST: ♫ Let her go (cover) by Birdy ♫

Chapter 11.5: Anna

(Dominic’s sixth’s note pasted on Anna’s Diary)

Now my life is blessed with the love of an angel

How can it be true?

Somebody to keep the dream alive

The dream I found in you

I always thought that love would be the strangest thing to me

But when we touch, I realize, that I found my place in Heaven by your side

 

I love you.

~D.S

__________

(Dominic’s Seventh note pasted on Anna’s Diary)

If this is Heaven, I don’t care what it is for.

If I can’t find you there, I don’t care.

 

Where are you, Anna? Why are you avoiding me?

Please talk to me. I love you.

~D.S

__________

Dear Diary,

I’ve received two letters from Dominic since I’ve decided to avoid him. Back when he started pestering me, I’ve been receiving those notes every day. And as much as I didn’t want to see them, I found myself anticipating them. But even though I’ve decided to avoid him, still it didn’t stop him.

I’ve found one of these at the front door today. It’s his seventh note to me and I didn’t know if he’d still want to see me after what he’d found out about me. I’ve broken him. At least, I’m not that numb to know. I saw it with the way his eyes cried for me. I’d be much of a hypocrite to say that I didn’t mean to break him. Nothing’s ever fair in this world. In love, there were two options. To hurt just myself in the process or hurt him instead. I chose the first one and I had let the world do the taking. And yet now, I had hurt us both. I guess love doesn’t need any options at all. It could still break anyone else as much as you can hurt yourself. I just stood idly around when actions should have been required. I wasn’t wrong, but then my decisions weren’t always right.

I couldn’t remember the last time life had been fair to me. It seemed that every time I tried to be happy it cuts away the best parts so quickly.

The skies cried today. I could hear its sobs in the thunder. I could feel its pain with the constant pouring of the rain.

I got inside the house with a crushed heart. I didn’t know it could bleed like that. Love is painful as life. Mama’s waiting for me at the living room. She saw how love had ruined me and offered me a hug. But I refused because it wasn’t the comfort of her arms that suited me from the blistering cold. So, I shook my head and I head straight to my room. From there, I went inside the bathroom and I turned on the faucet.

If I was outside, I’d let the skies create my tears and I’d let the thunder echo the cries I couldn’t take. But because I was in the bathroom, the faucet could only serve my muffled sobs. It drowned the sounds I couldn’t make.

When I’m sad, the bathroom’s one of the places I take comfort aside from my room. It listens to my cries without interruption. If I’m in my room, the pillow is where I put all the hurt. It’s my shoulder to cry on and my handkerchief to wipe away the tears.

I sank down to join the tiles, my tears kept flowing like the water in the faucet I’ve turned on. I didn’t want to get trapped inside a cage called life. It was never part of the plan. The door’s always open. I just forgot that it was.

Now I realize that people are not those who show strength in front of others but those who win battles we know nothing of. People who more often go looking for love while life goes off looking for pain. And when life finally gets to experience what is to love, humans get the taste of pain.

Without Wax,

Anna

(A/N: The songs on Dominic’s notes were Heaven by your side by A1 and Reflektor by Arcade Fire)