Parinayanantaram

Beginning

After the long tiring ride, we reached home by noon. I showed her around ‘our home’. She seemed to be pleased with the arrangements, which made me glad.

Finally, after showing her all the rooms, I settled in the couch and switched on the T.V. and she started unpacking her bags.

“I am going for a bath ...”

“Hmm …”

I could hear the shower in the guest room. {Why is she taking bath there? I should have asked her to use the bathroom attached to the master bedroom …} She came and sat on the chair beside the couch, drying her long black wavy wet hair with the towel. I had an intense desire to pass my fingers through her silky long hair, but I controlled myself and gave her a slight smile.

"You can sit here." I pointed to the empty place next to me on the couch.

She gave me a strange look. {Have I grown another head? Or have I asked her about her age? Well I know her age!}

“Umm … no … I am going to kitchen to cook.”

“No need. I had already ordered for the lunch. You must be tired from the travel. So, relax.”

“Really?!” Her wide eyes reflected my face, like a mirror. {I just loved my image in her brown eyes.} The door-bell rang loudly, making me almost jump. She opened the door and received the food package while I paid the bill.

Our lunch was silent. I sensed her uneasiness around me and decided to give her some more time to settle down with me.

After cleaning up the dining table, she moved to the guest room, where she had placed her luggage. I drifted into sleep in my bedroom … sorry our bedroom.

By the time, I woke, it was 5 in the evening and I heard noise in the kitchen. There, I saw her pouring coffee into 2 cups. I stood silently behind her, observing her every move. She placed the cups in a tray and turned back. But the moment she saw me standing close to her, she almost dropped the tray in shock. I held her hands, to make sure that she doesn’t spill the coffee, and smiled at her. She blinked and I took my cup from the tray, giving her another smile. She smiled back and took her cup, placing the tray on the kitchen counter. We moved to the living room.

After some silence, I spoke up. “The coffee is good.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

After a long pause, she looked up at me “So … what about my college admission?”

“Oh yes! I had forgotten to tell you. Tomorrow, we need to go to the college. You need to sign a few forms. I thought you would like to look around the college and introduce yourself to all the lectures and professors before your classes start.”
Before marriage, she requested me to let her complete the course. So I decided to get her admission as a final year transfer student, in the same college from which I had graduated. It was a great place and I knew she would love it there.

“Thanks!” Her eyes brightened and I was lost in those eyes. Only when she blinked, I became aware that I was staring at her.

“Come on! No sorry and Thanks between us. We are supposed to be friends, right?”

She blinked several times, as if she could not believe in my words.

“What happened?”

“From when did we start becoming friends?”

{There goes the stab again! Does she suffer from some amnesia or is she dumb?}

“Don’t you remember that day, … in the train! I asked you to be my girlfriend and you agreed that I could be your boyfriend … See, I am not stressing on the girlfriend part yet. But could you not spare me some friendship?”

Her face turned pale. She dropped her gaze and seemed to be in deep thoughts.

Shit! So, he still remembers that mistake. In the heat of the moment, I fell for his words. But now I realise how big the mistake was. Now how am I supposed to convince him that I don’t like him?
Whatever I do, he will not let go of that matter. I am so trapped …
Oh god! Do you really hate women so much? You made us weak, you made us slaves to men. We are made to leave our families and adjust in their homes, satisfy their needs, give heirs to their families, take care of the children, make them happy and ultimately be under their control. We never get the freedom. God … you are so unfair …

“WHAT?????” I shouted out of terror. {I could not believe my ears. Does she really think this about me? What happening?}

She seemed to be shocked by my reaction. “What happened?”
{What happened? Do you even know what you have just spoken … Wait … you don’t know it … YOU WERE MURMURING OUT YOUR THOUGHTS AGAIN? SO, YOU DID NOT INTENTIONALLY SPEAK THOSE WORDS? Shit! She doesn’t even know that she has spoken out those words.
If you don’t remember, let me remind you that Siri has this weird habit or disorder of speaking out her deep thoughts and that too unintentionally. She doesn’t even realise it until someone who has heard her, tells her what she spoke out.}

“What … what happened Hari? Why did you suddenly shout? Have I said anything?”
She was biting her lower lip in tension. I quickly averted my gaze from those pink … soft … LIPS ... {Control yourself Hari; It is not the time for thinking about all those …}

“Umm nothing …”

She frowned but said nothing. After a while, she took the empty cups and went to the kitchen while I was left alone to ponder about … no actually worry about all her meaningless thoughts.

After that, there was no more conversation between us until night. While I got rooted to the couch with the TV on, she was arranging her belongings in the house.

I had ordered for dinner, because I felt that she would need some more rest and time to adjust to the kitchen and cooking. We ate in silence. As I moved to our bedroom, I noticed her moving towards the other room.

“Are you not tired? You better sleep early because tomorrow we have a lot of work to do.”

“Yes, I am planning to sleep.”

“Then what for, are you going there?”

“That is my room right! I will sleep there.”

“Your room? Who told you? Did I?” I was trying to control my anger and be calm with her.

“Well that is the only other bedroom, so I thought … it is meant for me. Since you had already occupied the master bedroom.”

{Did you even think of the possibility of both of us in the same room?} But I was too tired to argue with her, or make her understand that a married couple is supposed to share a room.
I soon collapsed on my bed, as if I was shot with a bullet in my heart. My tired self eventually sought peace in the sleep.