Parinayanantaram

Concentrate on her?

{Seriously?}

“Oh! So you want me to announce to the world that I am a ‘married’ husband, to my ‘unmarried’ wife? Did you even realise how awkward it sounds?” I asked.

She slumped onto the bed like someone has knocked a blow on her head.
{Well I did knock some sense into it.}

“And one more thing. Next time you insult me like that in front of others, or spoil my reputation; be ready to face my wrath. Do you know anything about me? People have some respect towards me.”

I swiftly moved out of the room. But I still had one thing to clarify. So I walked back into the room and pulled her arm to make her face me. Looking straight into her eyes, I questioned her.

“Tell me the truth. Do I really look like a person who can harm women?” She lowered her head. Warm tears fell on my feet. But her silence was killing me.

“Tell me Siri? Do I look like a beast to you?” I shook her by her arm.

{If she thinks of me in this way, then what is the use of me being patient all this while? Was it really waste that I decided to give her some freedom?}

She was still silent. I was fed up of her silence. I left her arm and she fell on the ground like a lifeless doll. “Just remember Siri, I had never wanted to exercise my rights on you as a husband. I wanted to earn your love; not demand it. That is why I waited patiently so long. I tried all the ways to show you how much I love you. But you proved again, that you are blind. And I have lost all patience now.” I rushed out of the room, banging the door behind me.

I slumped on the couch and switched on the T.V. My mood was totally off and I needed some distraction. But my luck was so horrible that, whichever channel I checked, it was full of romantic scenes. I felt like even the idiot box was mocking at my unromantic life. I switched it off and moved towards the balcony and stared at the passing by vehicles. It did not give me peace of mind, but was enough to make me get my mind off her. It started to get darker and I felt few drops of rain on my forehead. I closed my eyes, letting the cold drops ease the pain of my heart.

“Dinner is ready.” I turned around to find her near the door, staring at the ground. {Now why is she not facing me? Is it because I scolded her or is she feeling guilty?}

“I am not hungry.” I turned back towards the sky.

“But I am hungry.” Her voice trembled.

“Then who is stopping you? Go have it.” I answered, not looking at her.

{The truth is that your anger will melt away at the sight of her.
Whatever.}

“I won’t eat until you eat.” She confirmed, folding her arms across her chest.

“Then starve.” I walked past her to reach the bedroom.

{Does she think her stupid antics will make me forgive her? What is she trying to prove by skipping her food.
But wasn’t she cute in that pose.
Let me concentrate.
On her?
No! on my anger.
Which means you want to concentrate on her. Since she is the reason for your anger.
Fine! Let me concentrate on her.
Well … that is what I was doing too, when you asked me let you concentrate.
Don’t irritate me.
I am only trying to put some sense in your brain.
My brain is perfect. Only my heart has gone crazy, calling out for her in each beat.
Dare you speak against your heart. If it gets angry, it will stop pumping blood to your brain. So I guess your heart is more important.
AAAGH! Please shut up.}

I tossed in bed to find her sleeping beside me. {When did she come here?}

“Siri, didn’t you have dinner?”

She turned towards me. “You asked me to starve.” She pouted.

“Are you crazy?” I sat up.

{What the hell is wrong with her? Will she starve just because I say it in a fit of anger? These women never take anything in the right sense, do they? Why do they not understand? What we say in anger, we really don’t mean it!}

She too got up and faced me. “Yes, I am crazy.”

She looked into my eyes, her eyes looked like a dam ready to burst. I blinked, not understanding what to say. There was pin-drop silence for few seconds. Then she continued.

“I am crazy because I cannot control my wild emotions. I am crazy because I can neither shut my heart which lives in fantasy, nor can I ignore the warnings of my brain. I am literally being torn between the reality and the dream. I know that I cannot live in dreams, but neither can I digest the harsh reality of the world.” She started sobbing.

{Oh how lucky you are, you can tell this to me and cry. But to whom will I tell my plight? I can’t say it to you and appear weak in front of you, because you need my support now.} I sighed.

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After a month!
Seriously guys ... If I would have been waiting for the updates of this story ... I would have given up reading it long back. Waiting a month for each chapter ... Needs loads of patience.

But really, friends; .... Thanks for being with me.

I can't promise regular updates ... Until my life makes some sense to me.
But I will try my best!

Until then please do keep supporting and reading on.