Submission

CHAPTER : 25

It was raining, again.

The cold, strong and innocent drops of calmness fell from the sky, splattering on the windowpane in my room. It was strange, how the moon was able to shine through the angry clouds. A distant clapping of thunder rattled the windows while I cowered in the thick covers. The rain didn't show any sign of stopping its shower, nor did my tears. No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes clear, those traitorous tears leaked down my cheeks and drenched my pillow in my misery.

Sad, didn't even cover what I was feeling. Maybe I was hurt? Lonely? Hopeless? Maybe I was all three of them but all I felt was the pain. Liza was still angry with me. She denied coming downstairs and have dinner with me. The only sign of her presence I felt was when I heard her going downstairs in the kitchen and the clatter of pots and pans as she made dinner. Giving her some space, I stayed up in my room, locked and lonely.

Was I sad? Is this what they call depression? No matter what I do, pain always finds its way towards me. Hope has become of limited supply these days and tears, oh these tears, they never seem to stop. 

Have you ever felt your heart tear out of your chest? Or felt like there is a large shard of glass stuck to your chest, in your heart, and you want to die, but somehow you are still alive only because you feel the pain and someone wants you to feel the pain. It sounds cruel, doesn't it? No matter how many covers or quilts I use, I still felt the cold poison seeping into my veins, conquering my whole body.

A strong gust of wind blew in and through the window on the left wall open. It feels like the storm is not only raging outside but inside me too. I think this is what they call depression, don't they?

Why? Why did this have to happen to me? Is pain the only thing I'll ever feel? Another thunder boomed in the sky and I clenched my eyes shut. The memories haunted me again as I closed my eyes and I couldn't help but see it all before me yet again.

****

Ivan's green eyes stared at me with shock, but he quickly hid them behind his cool facade. 

"Hey, baby girl! How are you doing?" He pulled out a sunglass from his jacket and put it over his eyes. It was too late though, I had seen what I was not supposed to see.

"I'm fine, how are you?" I asked him, a little unsure of how exactly to react to the situation.

"I am cool as always hun, but definitely feeling merrier at the sight of you." He winked at me as I smiled at him weirdly. Somehow this Ivan with the green eyes made me more cautious about my surroundings. "By the way, what are you doing at my friend's class after school? Anything I need to know?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me and tried to make the already tense surroundings a little more uncomfortable.

"Um, actually I have deten..."

"Enough, Ivan I think you should leave, you are wasting her time as well as mine." I was interrupted by a deep and strong voice as a lean yet muscular body stepped outside of the class. His eyes were directed right at me as I tried hard not to face him. Mr. Dimitri intimidated me more than scaring the hell out of me. I positively did not want to face this Russian more than necessary, but somehow we always ended up alone.

Just like now, as I could do nothing but stare at Ivan's retreating back, leaving me in the clutches of HIM. 

I slowly turned around to face Mr. Dimitri who stepped aside from the doorway, indicating me to enter. The snap of the lock on the door was too loud to ignore, and I flinched at it. He leaned on the door with his hands in his pockets and stared at me like I was his prey. His Russian accent boomed in the empty and quiet room as he spoke up.