Submission

CHAPTER : 29

(Recommended reading along with the music video above)

I stared at the neat strokes of green which shined in the faint light emitted from the TV in front of me. I am supposed to be scared of the Evil Dead playing on the screen, but I am too occupied in the deep shade of mesmerizing colour blinding me in an impenetrable spell. It shined with a new vigor as I let myself drift into the long-ago yet not forgotten memories. The screams and shouts slowly faded into the background as my vision blurred at the recollection of the heart-aching past. I clutched the blanket with all my might, trying to stop the erratic beating of my heart.

I remember the first time I saw green. It is not one of those neon-ish colours which stings your eyes nor is it too dull to make you feel depressed. I don't know what others feel when they see it but the warm feeling I get is because of more than the colour itself. It holds some cherished moments which makes we want to go back to the time when I didn't know what depression meant when I didn't know how to silently cry myself to sleep when I didn't know what my future held when I didn't know what my parents did when I heard shouting and crashing noises from the adjacent room.

My life used to be normal once and I wish it would have stayed that way but unfortunately, everything is not always rainbows and bursts of sunshine. Everything just changed from the night when my dad lost his job. He was in a partnership business but something went wrong, and he went bankrupt. Something snapped in him that day and since then he has been different. I felt him change from this good person to a psychotic being who would do anything to make sure that others don't get the happiness he never got. 

Slowly my brother followed his steps and became this bully I never wanted. I think he just longed for his father's appreciation, in any way he could get. My mother couldn't handle the depression as she too got drunk under the spell of depression. Alcohol, cigarettes, and other drugs replaced the grief.

The shimmers in the green nail polish strokes on my nails sparkled as I played with my fingers. Sometimes the smallest things in your life can remind you of the things which you thought you forgot. Sometimes it's welcomed, sometimes it isn't.

There are times when I really wonder about how Liza copes up with her problems and manages to become this perfect shoulder to cry upon. It's hard for her too, I know it is but the way she fights through every day is an inspiration to me. She is my idol and I don't care what others think about her, she is just perfect for me. From buying the perfect shade of nail polish to lifting up my mood when I am depressed, she is perfect and I won't ever trade her for anything.

I wonder what she's doing right now.

A burnt face with huge cuts popped up on the TV screen, restoring my attention back to the movie I am supposed to watch. The jump scare was too much for my little heart to handle as I hopped up on Ivan's lap and tucked my head into his chest. I could feel him shake with laughter as my face turned blood-red. I sheepishly looked up at him and saw him staring at me with a goofy smile on his face. My self-conscious body tried to get off his lap but his lean yet strong hand stopped my movements.

"I don't have any problem if you sit on my lap, rather it would make this movie night more interesting." He smirked and brought up his finger to smooth out the frown on my forehead.

The squirmish feeling in my stomach forced me to think of some excuse to get off from his lap but nothing came up in mind which I could use as an alibi. I believe that I am a good liar, and I am not ashamed to say that I am proud of it. Lying is a defensive mechanism for me and it has helped me numerous times.

 He leaned back and so did I as his restricting hand pushed my back towards him. The rest of the movie I could feel his burning gaze at the back of my head as I couldn't do anything but pray for this torture to end.

****

"You don't mind if I do this, do you?" He held my gaze as he took out the knife from the drawer.

"No, not at all, go ahead." The awkward smile on my face was clearly indicating my uneasiness but it seemed like he turned a blind eye to whatever discomfort I was trying to express. You can't be rude to someone and say no when the person wants to stay over for the night for no reason at all.

Well, actually he said that he wanted to stay over because Liza was not home and that the place where I live is pretty isolated. Maybe it is actually kind of him to think about my well-being and I can't deny the fact that I have a stalker who enters my home like he is taking a stroll in the garden.

I need to change the locks.

The loud pop of the cork being unscrewed from the wine bottle made me jump. Ivan was staring at me with a mischievous smile on his face as I laughed at my embarrassed self.

"You sure know how to scare me don't you?" I leaned on the counter and stood up on my tiptoes to take out a wine glass for Ivan. He walked over to me and leaned impossibly close to me as  his hand brushed my arm as he took out another flute.

"Well, I am sure that I can do more than that." He smirked as I blushed yet again. The smirk soon turned into a loud laugh as he held his stomach and started pointing towards me. "Oh God! This was so worth my while! Are you so dumb that you didn't understand I was messing with you!" He couldn't control his laughter as I just kept staring with him with an evident crease on my forehead. "Hahaha... I can't even count the times I have made you blushed this evening. Liza is a pure genius! I don't know how she came up with this idea but it's purely evil. She set you up because she knew you'll be all gloomy doomy. She's such a great friend isn't she?" I realized that the wink he sent me was nothing but playful.

"She doesn't know what's coming for her. I can't believe you took her side when I was the one who met you first. When did you guys even start being best friends?" I narrowed my eyes at him and tucked my hands on my chest, trying to intimidate him.

I still don't understand, how did he know about the closet? I mean the closet can't easily be spotted because it is kind of like a secret door. The wallpaper on the wall strangely matched the colour of the door which made it close to impossible for anyone to notice it. Liza and I found it after a week of the house being under our possession. Did Liza tell him?

He poured wine into the two wine glasses and handed me one while he sipped from the one in his hand. He stared me as he swirled the wine in the glass. I knew he was thinking about something but I couldn't be sure. Something was definitely off with him. The behavioural change in him from the first time I met him is quite unnerving. It seemed like he was a totally different person.

"You know what? Maybe you are right. Maybe I do like you" He stepped towards me with a new shine in his lavender eyes and placed his lips on mine.