If There's Something

Chapter 17

  "Rush," I murmured, frozen in place.

"This was a mistake," he picked my towel off of the floor and threw it over my almost-naked body. "I shouldn't have done this. It was a mistake."

"Rush!" I called after him but he opened the door and ran out, shutting it behind him.

I got off my bed quickly but what could I do? I couldn't run into the hallway naked just to catch him and beg him to take back his words. I quickly hooked my bra back on and pulled an over-sized t-shirt over my head. I had just had a shower but I felt dirty all over again. Not because of what I had just done with Rush but because he had run away after, claiming that it had been a mistake. I picked up my phone and my finger hovered over Micah's speed dial number. I sighed, fighting against my tears as I glanced outside the window. The leaves in the tree next to my window rustled in the wind and for a second, I thought about going out for a ride on Pepper, inside the horse arena because it wasn't very safe in the fields. But then I saw what I had been dreading – Rush leaving through the back door, his phone to his ear. Who was he calling? Late night booty call? I hated that that was the first thought that came to my mind but I hated it more than there was a high chance that my thought would be right. I blinked hard, hoping he would disappear and I had just been inventing shadows but when I opened my eyes, he was making his way around the house.

My finger brushed my phone screen and Micah's name lit up my phone. It hadn't been a mistake. I had meant to call him.

"Hey, miss me already?" Micah's amused voice filled my ear.

I opened my mouth to speak but a choked sob escaped instead.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Micah's voice instantly changed from amused to worried.

"Can you-"

"I'll be there in five," he said quickly, cutting me off because he knew exactly what I was going to ask him. "Keep your window open."

The line went dead and I flung my phone onto my bedside table, making it slide and an envelope fluttered to the floor – Aunt Marya's letter. I picked it up gingerly as I sat on my bed, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. I peeled open the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of blue paper. I was almost afraid to read it.

Dear Farren,

Happy Birthday, my lovely angel.

I hope Levi was smart enough to give this to you on your eighteenth birthday because now, you're old enough to hear this. I know you've always loved Rush and that's why I need you to stand tall. When Rush hears my last secret, I hope that you'll be the one to hold his hand and pull him back up from the well he's been living in.

I know that it will be hard but I know how strong your heart is. Please take care of my boys because saving the three of you was what my life was about.

I love you, my little angel.

Marya Hayes

Without even realizing it, tears had escaped my eyes, spilling onto the sheet and smudging the words. My eyes scanned the letter again because I didn't understand what she was talking about.

What secret? I didn't know any secret that could ruin Rush. And if I didn't know the secret then who did? But why had Aunt Marya written us letters? Letters that seemed to be written by someone who knew that they were about to die. But Aunt Marya had died in a car crash...hadn't she? How could she have predicted that and written us letters beforehand? And she would have never tried to kill herself. Something was wrong.

I was about to read it again when I heard Micah jump in through my window. He shut the window softly before sitting next to me. He was in his tracks and a sleeveless t-shirt which had the largest armholes I had ever seen, showing off his well-shaped sides.

"What's going on?" he asked as I put the letter aside. "Why're you crying?"

I told him the whole story of how Rush had come into my room, repeating word for word the conversation that had made, despite being completely embarrassed and mortified. Micah lay down with me, hugging me against his side and didn't even flinch when he heard what had happened between us.

"Let me ask you one thing," he stroked my hair. "Did you have sex with him?"

"N-no!" I stammered, my tears spilling onto his shoulder.

"Then why're you crying, babe?" he asked. "You didn't give him your virginity. You have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to feel guilty about either."

"He said that it was a mistake," I cried into his shoulder. "And what hurts the most is that he looked like he meant it."

"I really wish you weren't in love with that guy," he whispered into my hair, kissing my forehead. "I can treat you better."

"Micah-" I started but he shushed me.

"Go to sleep," he said into my hair. "I'll leave in the morning before anyone wakes up."

Micah stoked my hair until I finally fell asleep in his arms. As much as there was on my mind, I was mentally and physically exhausted and I slept through the night without waking up even once.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my door opening. Micah stirred beside me, pulling me closer and my eyes snapped in time to see Rush staring at the both of us. Wes appeared behind Rush, his jaw dropping open at the sight of Micah and me. I sat up quickly, waking Micah up from his deep sleep. So much for waking up and leaving before anyone saw him.

c0