If There's Something

Chapter 19

  I watched Rush leave the house in anger and even though I didn't think it was possible, I felt even worse than I had the night before.

"What the hell was that?" Wes demanded as soon as Rush was gone.

"Let me ask you something," I said softly. "Why didn't any of you tell me that Rush had open heart surgery?"

I looked up to find a panicked Wes and a guilt stricken Levi. Micah looked at me, slightly confused, assuring me that he had no idea about it. Obviously. If they had hid such a thing from me, why would anyone out of the family know about it?

"Was it that big of a secret?" I asked when they didn't answer me. "He didn't seem to have a problem telling me about it so why did you guys hide it?"

"He told you about it?" Levi asked and I felt my cheeks flush pink.

I couldn't tell them openly about last night and how I had seen his scar.

"That's not the point here," I said quickly. "Why didn't either of you tell me?"

"You weren't really talking to him back then-"

"Don't give me shit, Wes!" I snapped. "How many secrets are you guys keeping? When is the lying going to end?" I felt my voice crack and I looked away to blink back my tears.

"Far," Levi said softly and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I want the truth," I said through gritted teeth as I tried to control my tears. "I want to know everything."

"Rush had a bad heart, okay?" Levi said softly. "The only way to save him was open heart surgery. He needed a new heart. That's it."

"That's it?" I asked in disbelief because I had read Aunt Marya's letter and they obviously didn't know what she had written to me. "There's nothing else?"

"No," Wes stepped in and Levi looked away. They were definitely hiding something else.

"Then why did Aunt Marya tell me to stay by Rush's side? Why did she ask me to hold his hand till the end when he hears about her last secret?"

Wes flinched as Levi's eyes widened. I felt Micah take my hand but I pulled away.

"What's her last secret?" I asked, my heart racing. I hated accusing them of keeping secrets but it was hardly an accusation when it was true. "How did she really die?"

"Farren-"

"I know she didn't die in a car crash, Wes," I cut him off. "I'm not stupid. She couldn't have written us letters – written me a letter for my eighteenth birthday in advance if she was going to die in a car crash. Her letters are proof that she knew she was going to die. So how?!" I demanded.

Levi collapsed onto the couch and buried his face in his hands. They obviously hadn't been planning to tell me any time soon. They probably hadn't been expecting Aunt Marya to write about her secrets in her letter to me. They probably hadn't expected me to think too much into the letter either.

"Farren, we didn't tell you because we weren't sure you were ready to hear it, okay?" Wes said softly.

"Well, I'm ready now," I told him. "And Aunt Marya seemed to think so, too."

"Okay, sit down," he lightly pushed me toward the couch and I sat next to Levi who couldn't even look at me. Micah sat on the arm rest and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Before we tell you anything, you need to promise that you won't tell Rush," Wes told me.

"Rush doesn't know how his mother died?" I questioned and Wes gave me a warning glare. "Fine, I promise."