If There's Something

Chapter 21

Rush

Watching Farren leave the house with Levi so early in the morning made me slightly jealous. As curious as I had been about why she had spent the entire week avoiding all three of us, I had managed not to ask anyone about it. But knowing that she was suddenly okay with my brother again and that they were heading out so early spoilt my mood.

I washed up and decided that I didn't want to waste my time in my room or hanging out with the farm animals when I could be hanging out with other people. Even if Farren didn't want to patch things up with me, I had other girls waiting for me to play with them who I had been avoiding in the hopes that it would make me worthy of Farren.

"Where're you going?" Wes looked up from the newspaper he was reading to glance at me. "Aren't you tired of this infuriating behavior?"

"It's too early to be answering so many questions," I sighed, drinking milk straight out of the carton in the fridge.

"What happened between you and my sister? Why you both acting so weird?" he ignored what I had said and continued with his rapid fire of questions. "Didn't you make up with her after her birthday scene?"

"Wes, there are things you wouldn't want to know about your sister and guys-"

"You slept with her!?" he demanded, standing up so abruptly that he nearly dropped the bar stool.

"N-no, man!" I threw my hands up in defense. "I would have wrung my own neck had I slept with you sister and then avoid her. Micah was the one in her bed that night."

"As much as I hate what I just heard, I'd rather have Micah in her bed," he smirked and I almost felt a stab of pain in my chest.

Even my best friend would rather have Micah sleep with his sister than me. Maybe I really didn't deserve her.

"Whatever-"

"Don't get your panties in a twist," he chuckled and went back to his newspaper. "I said that because I know she'd never sleep with any guy except you."

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know that?"

"Because she's my sister, you dense fool," he shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "Why do you think she never slept with anyone in high school even though she was made fun of for being the only virgin left in senior year?"

"Are you trying to say she saved herself for me?" I bit back laughter. I did not believe a word he was saying.

"Laugh all you want, jackass," he sounded slightly annoyed. "But all my sister has ever wanted was you."

Wes's words rang in my head the whole way to Caroline's house – Caroline being Micah's ex-girlfriend who I had slept with, ruining their relationship. We hadn't screwed each other since then because I had been her biggest mistake when Micah had left her when he had found out that she cheated. It was more of his words that had cut through her like a knife back then because he really had loved her and losing him had to have ruined her. It was only later that she had started feeling the guilt and regret. I had been a friend to her since then, trying to make her feel better about her life or maybe trying to make myself feel better about mine.

She was sitting on her porch swing when I came around to her house in nothing but a bikini top and a skirt that didn't hide too much. Her head was thrown back, her brown hair dancing in the wind as she swung forward and back. She only straightened when I sat next to her, her brown eyes gleaming.

"Ah, Rush, what can I do for you?" she smirked. "It's been a while since you called, let alone so early."

"I needed someone to fu-"

"Get the hell off my property," she snapped and shoved me off of the swing and onto the wooden flooring. "You're barking up the wrong tree, Hayes."

"I was kidding," I chuckled, standing up. "And I can see clear to the top of the Christmas tree." I smirked, referring to her micro mini skirt.

"Well, aren't you precious?" she muttered. "Care to leave me alone now that you're done seeing my panties?"

"Oh, come on," I sat beside her again. "Stop being ugly and let's go to your room."

"I'm not sleeping with you, Rush," she shook her head. "That was seriously the worst decision in my life."

"Blame it on the alcohol," I joked and she rolled her eyes at me.

"I'll blame it on you – playboy with an uncontrollable dick," she scooted away from me. "And my horny ass who fucked the wrong guy. Don't ever come over here and ask for sex, Hayes. I'm going to spend every living moment trying to make it up to Micah."

"You are aware that you haven't spoken to him since ya'll broke up, right?" I reminded her and she pinched my arm, making me jump.

"Minor details," she brushed me off. "I need to forgive myself before I can ask him to forgive me."

"You know he likes someone else, right?" I knew it was wrong to put it out there, not just for her but for me, too. It made it seem more real once the words left my mouth.

"Farren Sterling?" she asked and I raised an eyebrow, surprised that she knew who Farren was. "I heard about how they're so chummy but I also heard that that girl has been in love with you since forever. And if I know Micah enough, he'd never let himself fall in love with a girl who's in love with you."

"You can't force yourself to fall for someone," I reminded her. "You also can't stop yourself from loving someone."

"So why're you here?" she asked, catching me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked and then before she could speak, "And don't start singing Justin Bieber."

She laughed and swatted my arm playfully. She always annoyed me by singing songs when I said something which was a song title.

"What I mean is you just said you can't stop yourself from loving someone so why the hell are you sitting on my porch when you should be spending the time you have left with Farren," she explained. "And don't you dare deny it. It's written all over your face. You love that girl and you're too much of a chicken to admit it. She loves you and you love her and you have only around a month left with her before she leaves."

"She deserves better," I shook my head. "She deserves a guy like my brother or hell, even Micah. I'm damaged goods."

"Who says you get to decide who she deserves?" she asked, pulling my cheek like I was some kind of child. "You're not damaged goods, Hayes. You went slightly loco for a while and couldn't see straight but now that she's in front of you, don't you think it's time you made the right choice?"

"Are you seriously lecturing me right now?" I asked her in disbelief.

"You need it," she let go of my face. "Everyone's damaged in some way. Why you letting it ruin something that can be good for you?"

I looked at her and let her entire pep talk soak through. She was right. Even though I had been half the reason she lost a good guy, she was still trying to help me be with the right girl. And she was completely correct about everything.

"What're you waiting for?" she asked after a while. "Go get her."

So I did.