"You start to change when you lose and you don't gain anything good without losing anything bad"
In Pakistan, we have go to college after 10th grade to study 11th and 12th grades then we go to universities ( yeah college and university are not the same thing here).
Like every other part of the world, when we change school we lose contact with a lot of our friends but we do stay in touch with our best friends but not in this case. I was hit with two heart breaks at the end of my 10th grade, one was the typical kind which wasn't really that excruciating when I look back at it now, the second was the treachery of my best friend. Apparently, she passed my messages to someone she shouldn't have sent to but even after confrontation she refused to admit any of it. Then, distance played its glorious part and we started talking less. All night long conversations reduced to birthday wishes once a year. We had so much in our hearts but we avoided confrontation like a plague and now we both are like strangers.
These heart breaks happened in the first Ramadan* after my 10th grade exams. That feeling is still fresh in my heart when after Sehri time* when all my family members used to go back to sleep, I would stay awake crying with Quran wide open in front of me. I didn't know what the Ayahs I was reading meant, I was reciting in Arabic but it felt as if these words were speaking to me. With every word I read, I still remember the pain lessening. With every tear that escaped my eyes, I concluded that indeed Allah is the mender of broken hearts. At that moment, it felt as if none of this matters, as if I was living in an illusion all this time and now these words, that I couldn't literally understand, made me understand the purpose of my life. All the events that happened in my life before this Ramadan, were meant to be that way cause if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have experienced this surreal feeling. And just like this my entire Ramadan went by but there was one firm decision that I took during this Ramadan, that one decision that I should've taken long before, that one decision which was the first step towards Allah, the first step towards my creator. And that decision was to let go of the people who broke my heart and never repeat the mistakes that I've made till now.
That's exactly what I did. After that Ramadan, I don't remember intentionally leaving a prayer. I had this teacher in 9th grade and she always used to say that Salah is fardh (Mandatory), there's no way you can say no to it. I always listened to her attentively, I always pondered over her words but my sins held me back like a dark chain tied to my hands. But after that Ramadan, I fully understood what fardh was. After that I didn't say no to Salah but I still wasn't on the right path yet, I was almost half way there for I knew nothing about the beauty of my religion.
A/N:
*Ramadan: Islamic month in which Muslims fast.
*Sehri time: The time when you're allowed to eat before starting the fast. We start the fast just before the sun rises.
No humor in this one, yup I fooled y'all....XD
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My Niqab Story
Spiritual"The deeper you are in the dark, the more desire you feel to be in the light and the more you are familiar with the light, the more efficiently you'll embrace it." ----------------------------------------------------------------- 0% Fiction 35% Humo...
