Inizio (COMPLETED)

18. To Hate or To Forgive

She bit her lip hard and stared at me, examining my face for a reaction.

I held my breath. I didn't know whether to yell or laugh. My mouth chose to laugh.

"Hahaha, what? Mom on a serious note, come on, tell me," I said with a small smile on my face. It slowly vanished when I saw Mr. Fiorentino look at me with pity in his eyes. I looked at Marco who had taken a seat at his desk, his head between his hands.

"This isn't a joke Zhara. Your father was Rossi's right hand man," my mom said.

"Matteo Drey-Embin. Best man I'll ever have known..." said Mr. Fiorentino quietly.  I eyed him and then my mom.

Then it clicked.

My eyes widened as I realized. I stood up abruptly getting away from my mother and Mr. Fiorentino.

"WAIT, wait,wait,wait,wait. Best man you'll ever have known... Italian Mafia...," my head was spinning as I came to a far fetched conclusion.

"You're," I started, pointing at Mr. Fiorentino and Marco, " you're not.. you're in the MAFIA?" I exclaimed.  No one said a word, then I saw three heads start bobbing, slowly.

I wasn't shaking.
I wasn't shaking
I wasn't shaking.

I was shaking. I felt my blood boil as I stared at mother.

"You didn't even tell me. Yeah yeah I was little. But I turned fûcking 18, you couldn't tell me then? I turned fûcking 21, you couldn't tell me then?" Her eyes were wide.

"Zhara, don't raise your voice at me."

"Don't raise my voice at you," I whispered. To tell me casually that my father was in the Mafia is nothing small. This was big. Mafias have codes. Codes of silence. They kill people, they kidnapped people, they sell drugs, they... they..

They lie.

Flashback

"Nooooooo!!! Nooo! No no no!!! You promised Rossi! YOU PROMISED! How could you? Eh? HOW COULD YOU! My husband, THE FATHER OF MY CHILD, died just like that after you PROMISED ME," my mom sobbed on a mans shoulder. She then pulled back from his hold and started hitting him with closed fists.

"YOU PROMISED,YOU PROMISED,YOU PROMISED. I watched as I played with the little lion my dad had gotten me. I was four.

"Tesoro, if I'd known... I swear we had it all planned out-,"

"Clearly you didn't!! HE'S GONE ROSSI! And on top of that.. ON TOP OF THAT MY SISTER IS TOO! SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ROSSI! FOUR! WITH NO FATHER! Who's suppose to take care of them. I would've. But see, I don't have a husband that will go to work and bring in more money. I TRUSTED HIM WITH EVERYTHING, I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN BUT I LET HIM DO IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE-," she choked on a sob, her wrists being held by Rossi so she wouldn't hit him.

"Because I loved him. I chose to love a murderer, a criminal... a mafia man. Look at the consequences... just look Rossi... LOOK!!" She pointed at me and his eyes looked at me. He pulled my mom in for a hug.

"How am I suppose to take care of her, huh? What am I suppose to tell her." Rossi motioned for me to come over. I got up in my yellow sun dress and walked over. I looked at him holding my mom. I now saw my mom at a closer range. She was sobbing and I wanted to hug her too. I lifted my arms so that Rossi could understand that I wanted him to pick me up. He did, and when I got close enough to my mom, I reached out to touch her cheek.