Hiding in the Advice Column

9.

Flashback
"I think." Rhea said to Ryder as she waved the pregnancy test.

"But imagine if you are!" He gloated.

"But what if I'm not?" Rhea asked as she nervously waited for the timer.

"Why are you being so down about this?" He asked her, taking her to him.

"I don't want to get your hopes up and then crush them. That's why I was trying to be sneaky." Rhea sighed as she placed her head against his chest and raised the test. "See. Negative."

"Maybe wait another minute."

Rhea shook her head. "It's been eight minutes. It's a three minute test. I'm sorry."

Ryder kissed her gently. "Don't be sorry. We can always keep practising."

****

Rhea laid curled up on the lounge, a blanket around her as she flicked through the television channels.

Ryder walked in, noticing the empty chocolate wrappers on the table. "What's all this?" He asked her.

Rhea shrugged as she kept watching the TV.

"Did you try another pregnancy test?" He asked her as he sat next to her, lifting her legs on to his.

"There is no point." She sad sadly.

"Well, it's been a week since you last did one. Maybe now is a better time."

Rhea shrugged again. "What's the point? It will be negative. Why would you care? You have been in a horrible mood for a few days now."

Ryder stiffened under her. "Just work things." He growled. "I brought another test if you want to try it?"

She shook her head and cuddled in to the cushion. "No."

"Why not?" He asked her softly. "Are scared about getting your hopes up now?"

"I know it will be negative."

Ryder lifted his hand and took one of hers. "Don't be so negative about it."

"It's not negativity, it's a fact. I got my periods this morning." She told him in a gloomy matter.

"That's okay. We can always try again." Ryder leaned on to her, taking her lips. "Besides, I enjoy the trying parts."

Now
"Rowan?" Ryder repeated as he stood up straight.

I swept past him as I placed the plate on the table for Rowan.

"Are you going to say anything about this?" He glared at me as I helped Rowan sit at the table.

"I'm not arguing with you." I sighed out as I ushered him back to the kitchen.

"You told me he isn't mine. So why name him Rowan?" Ryder snapped as he raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to continue.

I've danced around this fire for so long now and the past couple weeks I knew I was getting really close to getting burnt. "I'm not discussing this." I told him with my arms akimbo. "I have to get Rowan ready for bed after dinner."

Ryder took my arm as I went to turn away and I gasped as I froze, blinking several times.

I felt it hit me like a bus. The hurt and pain, the sorrow and grief, resentment and suspicion, confusion and jealousy.

I stared at where he was touching me and took my arm back from him.

"What was that?" He asked me.