Misery Loves Company

Track 47: misery

Misery Loves Company

By: theinkslingerr

Track 47: misery

How did you go to someone's house to tell them you lied to them, but blurted out you loved them instead?

Only me. I swear, only me.

When I'd told Rocco I liked him after burning my mouth on that s'more, I'd threatened him with a (teensy weensy) concussion, because I wasn't sure he felt the same or remembered telling me he had on the couch at his apartment.

Now, seconds after blurting out I loved him, I prayed for something to happen that would affect his short-term memory.

He was gawking at me, mouth open, Adam's apple bobbing spastically. He still had me pressed against the countertop, and up close I noticed his lips were a bit chapped. A patchy red flush worked its way up his strong neck.

"What?" Rocco's voice broke, causing the flush to deepen as he cleared his throat. "What did you just say?"

Why was he asking me when I had no clue?

I'd opened my mouth to prove I could be vulnerable without first-degree burns, and said something I never thought I'd say in a million years.

Something heavy and scary and confusing. Something I didn't even know I felt.

Panic snaked its way up my spine. I'd practically shouted it. Giuliana was more than likely sitting out there wondering what was going on.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, throat raw. "I don't know why I said that. I—"

"Did you mean it?" Rocco's gaze was so intense it felt like my face was melting off.

"You're right. I should go." I weaved around him, desperate to escape my own revelation.

"Wait." He grabbed my wrist, but I yanked it away, tripped, and knocked over the trash can. Pieces of lettuce, raw chicken, and candy wrappers spilled onto the hardwood floor. I paused, instincts urging me to clean it up. But the sight of Rocco standing there ignoring the mess stopped me from bending down.

He wanted me to wait? Fine. I was waiting, but he wasn't saying anything. I started picking at my cuticles, something I'd been doing less and less, but reverted to when I didn't know what to do with myself. I hadn't planned on saying "I love you," so I didn't necessarily expect to hear it back (especially since he'd just argued with Giuliana a few minutes ago). But no matter how sudden or how bad the timing was, a tiny part of me hoped for...something. A word or an action that would prove this wasn't my biggest mistake yet.

As the seconds ticked by, Rocco's face grew troubled. I started to shake. My confession was out, and I couldn't laugh it off or take it back like I would in any other situation. It hovered in the air between us, invisible but all too present.

Rocco had told me he liked me first. At a time I hadn't entertained thoughts of anything beyond a kiss.

But then we'd kissed again and kissed some more. Talked. Terrorized dollar store employees with a plastic Spider-man mask.

He'd started having feelings for me at some point, but I'd clearly fallen faster, harder. And now I didn't know where we stood.