The babysitter [Jeon Jungkook]

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Jungkook p.o.v.

Mrs Min dragged Gabriella away while me and Mr. Min sat next to each other on a bench, keeping an eye on Jay.

I don't know what he wants to talk to me with or what Mrs Min needs Gabriella with but I hope it's nothing serious that will makes Gabriella feel awkward.

I know her now too well and I know how awkward and shy she could get but all I want her to feel is comfort.

I want her to feel comfortable around me and that she can be her. I don't like the awkward atmosphere that creates between us.

I know that things between me and her aren't always great, I know that it is awkward between us and I know that what I'm doing isn't good at all but I can't help.

I can't stop myself from thinking about her, she's on my mind the whole time and that's scaring me.

I don't want to destroy my own family because of my stupid feelings. I love Elena, she a sweetheart.

I know why she isn't kind towards Gabriella and I can't blame her, jealousy wins over her emotions.

At first it didn't bother me but after some time I couldn't take it. It's maybe because I'm getting tired of it.

But I'm not dump and I know the feeling that I'm getting for Gabriella aren't just "stupid feelings".

"So how have things been?" Mr. Min asked.
I sighed before answering with a simple good.

"Well don't lie to me because that didn't sound good at all." I smiled at him, he knows me too well.

"Lately I've got into many fights with Elena. One moment we're good and the other we are discussing about something stupid."

"Is it about her?" He asked making me confused.
"Who?"

"The babysitter, Gabriella right?"
Just hearing her name made my heart beat faster.

I nodded my head. "Yeah it's Gabriella and sometimes it's about her but not all the time."

"You like her, don't you?"

His question caught me off of guard. I didn't know what to answer. Lie and let it burn in or tell the truth and let it burn out.

I decided to tell the truth, even tho I would've lied, Mr Min can see trough me and would known that I'm lying.

"I do." I sighed and looked down. That's the first time that I say it out loud and actually the first time that I tell myself that I like her.

All this time I tried to convince myself that I don't like her and that all that I'm feeling are just confused feelings because of my fights with Elena.

And it hurts, it hurts so bad. Knowing that she's right in front of me but I can't catch her is killing me.

The fact that I have a wife and a kid is eating me and I'm feeling disgusted by myself. How can I do that?

How can I do that to Jay? To Elena? Am I being selfish right now? Am I destroying everything that I built and worked hard for to keep in balance?

All those questions and more are shouting in my head and I can't find one single answer.

I'm even starting to question my feelings for Elena, my wife. I do love her and I always have loved her but if I truly do then how could I catch feelings for someone else?

Maybe I didn't love her as much as I thought I did. Or maybe I do but there was maybe something missing and I found that in Gabriella.

The problem is, I can't find out what it is. I don't want to leave Elena for something little that I found out that I needed in my life but then it will makes me loose a big part of my live.

"How did you know?" I asked him in which he let out a chuckle.

"The way you were looking at her as if she is the only one on earth. The love that you held in your eyes. I have never saw you looking at someone like that even just couple minutes ago when my wife took her away you held her in your eyes. You were looking at her as if she was going to go and never come back."

That made me smile and feel warm. "Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"To us yeah but I think she's blind." He said in a joking way.

"I'm happy she is, if she knew she would have thought I was someone creepy and I'm pretty sure she would quit her job which I seriously don't want. Jay loves her very much and she loves him too."

"You sure? What if she liked you back?" My head shot at him.

"N-no way, that's nonsense." I shook my head.

There's no way Gabriella likes me, if she did she wouldn't have pushed me away this morning.

"You never know what people feels inside of them." With that sentence of him we kept quiet for a while.

"What should I do?" I asked with my voice softer and quieter than ever.

It was more a question to myself but I'm happy Mr Min heard it.

"I don't know, all I can say is don't make stupid decisions. Don't hurry, make your choice after thinking ten times. Don't destroy everything you build and worked hard for Jungkook. If you want to be with Gabriella, go, no problem but don't cheat on Elena. It will only lead you to a bad place where you will lose both of them and maybe Jay too. Be careful with everything."

I listen to him attentively and took everything he said seriously.

"But first of all you have to decide who you really want to be with, who makes you really happy and will take good a care of your kid."

He paused for a moment before continuing.

"Think about the future and how you see yourself in it and your kid. Will you still feel the same about your wife or are you going to catch feelings for another girl just like you had with Gabriella? And if you chose Gabriella, are you then going to love her forever? Marry her? Have kids with her? Or are they just some feelings you got now and later you will regret them and go back to Elena?"

I could feel my heart shatter and it's like I can't breath anymore. I want a break.

I want a break form everything but I know that's impossible right now.

"I don't know who to choose." My head hurts from all those questions.

"Just see who your heart beats for. You only have one heart so it can only beat for one person and then you will find the answers for all those questions."

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Whoa, one long chapter about how Jungkook feels