Breaking Barricades (Levi x Reader)

18. ** Divulgence **

I could blame my inability to sleep that night on my anxiety, on a full mind, or even on the storm still raging on outside. But really, it was because Levi and I ended up finding endless amounts of topics to discuss. Neither of us slept much to begin with anyway. We were constantly both woken by nightmares, only to find we were still living in one. So instead of fighting a losing battle, we laid next to each other in bed, talking the night away.

No one really knew much about Levi's past before joining the Survey Corps. And no one had really dared to ask him. All I knew was that he had lived in the Underground City. Some people had referred to him as a thug or a criminal, but what those people didn't understand, was that the Underground City was a completely different world. The only way you could survive down there was by doing what you had to, whether it was right or not. Levi knew my circumstances of how I got there and how I left... but I didn't know his.

"Levi....? If you lived in the Underground City your whole life, how did you end up joining the Survey Corps?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I know you never talk about-"

"To kill Erwin."

I turned toward him, wide-eyed.

"To-what? ...what do you mean?"

"It's just like it sounds. I left the Underground to kill Erwin. We would be given above ground citizenship if we took the job. So when Erwin's Squad intercepted us, he wanted to recruit us for our 3D Maneuvering skills, saying our crimes would be forgiven if we joined."

I continued to stare at him, incredibly confused.

"So um... I'm just gonna point out the obvious here, Levi... Erwin's still alive. I don't understand though... How are you and Erwin so close if you were originally paid to assassinate him? And, you said 'we,'-- there were others?"

Levi turned away and rather softly muttered,

"Two others...but they're dead now. Because I made a choice that would cost them their lives."

Before I could ask any more of my rapidly multiplying questions, Levi turned back to me and said, "How did you join, then? You said you were in the Capitol for over a year. I know Viktor didn't just let you go."

I was caught off guard, but should have known he would ask me the same question that I had asked him. I shook my head, laughing a bit.

"Everyone remembers where they were the day the Colossal Titan first appeared; When Shiganshina was destroyed and Wall Maria fell. It was one of the worst days in human history... but what's ironic is, I remember that day as one of my best."

Levi shifted his weight, listening intently.

"There was so much chaos in the Capitol that day. People were running around like crazy, screaming about how titans had broken through the walls. A lot of people called it a hoax, saying it was all made up by the poor to try to get inside Wall Sina; but most began to panic when they noticed the Military Police assembling. 
Unfortunately, I was with Viktor when we heard the news. Since he was a high ranking Commander, he was summoned immediately. He was incredibly irate, but I knew he was just trying to hide his cowardice. So, in order for him to come off as calm, cool and collected in front of his troops, he took everything out on me first.

"He left me broken and bleeding on the floor, before washing my blood off his hands, straightening his uniform, and marching out of his room, slamming the door behind him. I had always been locked away, never allowed to leave. I had tried to escape once before, but learned very quickly to never try again.