Good Omens One Shots

Mouth to Mouth

I walk in the bookshop, holding a large bottle of Chardonnay, for both me and my angel to consume while having a wonderful conversation about whatever we please. As I walk in, I see my angel over by the bookshelf as per usual picking out a book with a luxurious red cover on it. I present the Chardonnay and Aziraphale beams at it, "Oh, Crowley. I can't wait to have lunch!" He walks gracefully over to me and takes my hand, leading me to the couch. I sit down and put the bottle on the table in front of me. Angel goes and sits in his chair after grabbing us both wine glasses with feathers. Yes, feathers. As I watch him walk in his majestic, angelic way, I have an amazing thought. When he returns with the wine glasses, I pretend like I'm passed out on the couch. He puts the glasses on the table and then gasps as he sees me "passed out" across the couch. At first, he's not too worried. "Crowley, dear? Are you alright?" After I don't answer, the worry sets in and his voice is trembling with emotion now. "Crowley, dear! Crowley!" It kills me to hear my angel like this, but I don't do anything, yet. I let it go a little longer. He gets up, and takes my sunglasses off. And in that moment, I'm thinking it's a good thing I have my eyes closed because I inherited the horrible eyesight that snakes have. I wear my sunglasses not only to hide my reptilian eyes themselves, but also because they are prescription, the eye doctor said the strongest he can prescribe and has declared me legally blind. Ever wonder why my driving is so damn awful? Well, now you know. Anyway, Aziraphale places my glasses on the table and takes my head in his hands. He whispers, "Dear boy, what happened?" He is so close to my face, I can feel his breath and smell his new cologne. He thinks for a moment, and asks, "What do humans do in this situation? Oh, mouth to mouth!" I get excited as I believe my angel is about to give me what he believes is life saving mouth to mouth. Just then, the door chimes and Aziraphale gets up, and walks over to the table, about two inches away from the couch. He won't leave me like this, I know it, so I decide to open my eyes, and he is elated. "Crowley, you're alright!" I laugh, "Of course, angel." My angel then starts to cry and I wrap him up in a hug, and tell him, "I'm sorry, Angel. I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry. I just..." He looks me in the eyes and asks, "Just what, dear?" I blush, and look down at my sunglasses. Aziraphale follows my gaze and grabs my sunglasses from the table. I put them on and can see once again, and I say, "Just wanted a kiss..." He smiles and after doing just that, says, "Next time, dear. If you want a kiss, just ask."