The Artist / Billie Eilish

Chapter 50

Billie's POV

After soundcheck that day, we all piled into the theatre room of the hotel that Ethan discovered earlier.

There was a weird feeling hovering through the group - everyone seemed a little more excited, a little relieved, a little... happier. I definitely think it had something to do with the fact that I was coming out of my shell again, and everyone was finally stepping back into the rhythm of feeling like one big family again.

I mean, I still feel like shit, and every time I look at Rose I want to drop to my knees and beg for her to forgive me and cry like a goddamn child, but, Claudia was right. This did help. These people loved me, and I loved them, too, and I knew now that had them to lean on just as much as Rose did.

Claudia was watching me from the other side of the room, a little smile on her lips, before she scrunched her nose happily and carried on helping Finneas with the projector.

I watched everyone excitedly talk and jump around on the huge cushioned floor in front of the massive cinema screen, and my heart fluttered in gross, gushy love feelings for the dumbasses in front of me before I felt a hand fall against my shoulder. Ethan stepped up next to me and mirrored my gaze, watching the people we'd all grown so used to over the past year.

"It's crazy, right?" He mumbled, smiling as he watched Justin throw Macy over his shoulder as she howled with laughed, letting herself get tossed down onto the pillowy flooring. I glanced up at the taller boy, and he shrugged, crossing his arms with the same twinkle in his eye that I saw in Rose's earlier that day. "How much has happened. How much has changed over this tour, but how much it hasn't, at the same time."

He broke the gaze away from the group as he looked down at me, smiling bashfully before continuing. "Everyone's gone through shit, everything's blown up, everything's crazier than we could've ever imagined it to be, but... We're all still here. Together. You know?"

I pursed my lips as I broke the eye contact, looking back over the group of idiots I was proud to call my family as something in my chest swelled. "Together."

We stood in comfortable silence for a few moments before Ethan noticed that my eyes had gradually drifted over to one particular corner of the room. He sighed quietly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

"She's hurting, Billie," he mumbled, us both now watching Rose and one of the stage tech guys laugh together. "I'm not gonna lie, I haven't forgiven you. I think what you did to Rose was bullshit, and at the end of the day, I'm always going to be on her side of the story. She's my person. But," he turned away from them, facing me now as he silently urged me to look back at him. "I know how you're feeling now, and, as much as I hate what you did... You're good for her. When you're not a cheating asshole."

He smirked, letting me know he was just teasing, but I painfully smiled back at him as I let my eyes wander over to her again. She had light pink paint on her fingertips, she had the tiniest bit of fresh hair dye staining her forehead against her hairline, and she was as beautiful as she'd ever been.

My chest ached as I let my eyes flutter shut, taking a deep breath to calm the feelings bubbling up inside of me as I felt Ethan grow concerned by my side.

"I just want you to know, Bil," he whispered as he let his arm fall over my shoulders. "There's still a chance. Don't stop trying."

And with that, he squeezed my shoulders comfortingly before leaving me with my thoughts, jogging over to the rest of the group and bodychecking his brother into the soft floor that none of them had gotten any less excited by.

I sighed shakily as I watched the start credits flash up on the huge screen ahead to some random movie, and made my way to where everyone had started to flop down over the big ass mattress, a mixture of regret and anxiety flowing through my veins, but with a tiny flicker of something that I hadn't felt in a long time.