Why Me?

24. Depression

Pain, Suffering and Misery
That is what consumes my heart
As each day passes me by
The darkness inside only grows
My body grew hollow
Only now an empty shell
Eyes showing nothing but pain
Fake smiles across my face
How I want my suffering to only end

"Ruu-chan!" Closing my journal at the sudden call towards me, my eyes look up as I set my pen down. Miyuki Minami sat down beside me, her grey eyes watching me as I stuff my journal quickly into my book bag. "You ever going to show me what you write Ruu-chan?"

A week has passed by now, and everyday I come to the library to talk to Miyuki. Her little nickname she decided to call me, bugged me at first yes. Though now, I honestly don't care anymore. The deep sad truth is, I don't care about much anymore.

"No." I simply stated about her reading my dark thoughts.

"You know, I have noticed a huge difference in you this past week." She spoke calmly.

I knew she would, she picked up things like this well. "I know." I mumbled nodding my head.

"You hardly smile anymore." She whispered concerned.

"I hardly smiled to begin with." Grumbling I sighed.

Hearing her sigh as well I glanced to her. "You know what I mean." Miyuki reached out and took my hand in hers. "I am seriously starting to worry about you Ruu-chan."

Standing suddenly from the table, I grab my book bag and pull it over my shoulder. "I need to go. Promised Ryuu I would come watch his soccer practice." Gazing back to Miyuki, her eyes were already at the window staring towards the field. "You know, It's better to watch them up close than far away."

"W-what?" She stuttered and looked to me blinking her eyes.

"Every time they have practice, you sit up here and watch him play through the window." Her cheeks burned a deep red.

"Uhh well, hey! Don't tease me." She blushed looking away from the window.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets I shrugged. "Guess what I am saying is that I wont say no to the company."

"Wait, you want me to come with you?" Her eyes lit up and I rolled my own.

Shrugging my shoulders again I turned my back to her. "It gets lonely sitting there alone, so why not?" Walking off I heard her scrambling behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched Miyuki rushing after me.

"I just want to keep talking with you." She declared as I rolled my eyes once again.

"Whatever." I mumbled as we both started walking the school halls together.

Miyuki Minami. Well she is one person in this school, I have been able to grow close to. Other than Ryuuzaki of course. Her grey eyes always appeared to sparkle with happiness. Her face always held a soft smile on her lips. She is never sad, but always cheerful. Unlike myself though, she isn't a loner. She has plenty of friends, but prefers to spend all her free time alone in the library.

Glancing to her as she walks beside me, her babbling on and on about who knows what. Something I honestly didn't care to listen about. Even Miyuki passes me in height, but thankfully she isn't too much taller than myself. Unlike Ryuu who towers over me, but then again I love that he does.

Ryuu learned of my odd relationship with this girl, and it makes him so happy. He is glad to hear I opened up to another. To him, this was a sign I was getting better.

God how wrong he is.

When we finally arrive at the soccer field, my boyfriend spots me and runs over to greet us.