Playing His Own Games | ✔︎

chapter ten | mutual hatred

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"I keep it all inside because I'd rather the pain destroy me, than everyone else."
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Mason

I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE pain is my best friend. Where darkness swarms the walls of my mind. Suffocating me. Drowning me. Breaking me.

My eyes drift across the kitchen as I enter, absorbing the scene before me. Jared slouched over the marble counter, his eyes half-closed and full of sleep, his shoulders sagging, dark hair dishevelled and curling around his ears; Ruby standing at the stove, humming softly underneath her breath as she flips pancakes on the sizzling frying pan, her eyes bright, her mouth tilted upward; and then there's my father with his trademark scowl filling his harsh features, his back hunched over a newspaper as he sips his coffee.

"Happy birthday!" Jared exclaims, straightening himself as he passes me the card in his hand. Ever since the funeral incident, Jared and I have become closer; he even managed to crack a few jokes which made me smile.

Ruby smiles warmly, motioning towards the stovetop with her free hand. "Seventeen is a special year. You, uh, can donate blood."

I raise an eyebrow, amused by their efforts considering my birthday has been next to ignored since I was eight. I'm not an idiot; I know why they're trying to make me feel appreciated and welcome: I have a cast for my broken arm, another cracked rib or two and even with the two weeks off school a horrific amount of bruises and cuts still claim almost all of my body. The beating I endured was something I've never experienced before, something beyond awful and yet despite all the screaming and banging that occurred, they didn't do shit to help me.

This is a pity party and something tells me that my father does not agree in the slightest.

My dad folds the newspaper in half, knocking back the last mouthful of his coffee as he dusts off his hands on his trousers and rises to his feet. I instinctively inch backwards, trying to swallow the building fear in my throat. Hoping that any shadow could swallow me up whole or I could sink into the floor beneath me.

Silence consumes the room as he stomps past the island in the middle of the kitchen, tossing the mug into the sink with so much force the handle rips off and whole thing shatters, clanging noisily against the metal.

He whips around, a noticeable pink tinge flowing into his cheeks, his pupils expanding dangerously fast. He stabs an accusing finger at Ruby, who is standing a few feet away, looking downright alarmed. "Clean it up, bitch!"

I flinch at his words, despite not being directed at me. He spoke those same words to my mother before his temper got the better of him and he decided to use physical force to dominate instead. My father had always been nice to Ruby, but since my adventures, his increasing drinking and the pressure at work, his constantly been on edge and can be aggravated by so much as breathing wrong.

"Don't talk to my mum like that!" Jared shouts and I wish I had the courage to stand up for her; not remaining a mute zombie.

My dad ignores him, advancing on Ruby like a lion hunting its prey. He grabs her by the shoulders and throws her up against the sink furiously. "Are you deaf, you whore! I said clean it up!"

"You dick!" Jared screams, eyes flaming with fury, mouth twisted. "Get the fuck off her!"

My dad swivels around and stalks towards him, clearly about to assert his dominance over the whole family for the first time in nearly three years. "Don't you speak to me like that, you filthy piece of shit."