Playing His Own Games | ✔︎

chapter twenty-three | fight or flight

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"Our emotions dance in a paradox of love and fear."
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Carrie

IT FEELS AS THOUGH I'M floating within a boundless sky; reality and fantasy merging together to form something fuzzy and confusing. Something I simply cannot wrap my head around.

I'm curled in a foetal position at the end of my bed, my eyes dry and my heart empty. Tahlia and Piper have been here since Mel first released the post and the comments started flowing through. Their intentions were to comfort me but the conversation quickly developed into a venting session. I don't mind; their fury and angry remarks numbs the pain a bit. Just a bit.

Trent, Jason, Lucas and Chase all left a half hour ago, promising that they would come back after they went out to cool down and have a few beers.

I'm not sure what hurts more—the fact that Mason attacked me online just an hour after I was prepared to comfort him and gently explain how I knew the truth. Or the betrayal I felt. All those people insulting me, all those people making cruel remarks, I thought enjoyed my company and felt they were generally friends.

Apparently not. Two-faced fuckwits.

I almost feel naïve to believe Mason wouldn't throw the match onto the gasoline. Once again, he has successfully burnt me. Hurt me. Broken me. And although every rational part of my being begs me to retreat and forfeit, I can't help but want to help him. Because then—maybe then—he would finally fall unconditionally in love with me and I could conjure the secret fantasies I hold within my mind.

My brain says no; my heart says yes. I don't know which one to follow.

Aiming her frustration at my wall, the toe of Pipers Vans take a beating as a long string of curses pass her lips.

Tahlia, on the other hand, slumps down onto my desk chair, her cheeks streaked with tears and her eyes crackling with electricity. "Look, maybe Mel did this as vengeance towards Mason?"

I gaze up at the ceiling, while all the hateful comments and remarks swim before my eyes, and shake my head. "He was with Mel at the time. She sent me the audio recordings of them both bitching about me and planning how to get back at me."

"Bitch!" Piper breathes heavily and knocks another meaningless object off my chest of drawers with her the side of her hand. "Goddamn bitch!"

"You can't place the entire blame on Melinda," Tahlia admits, rubbing her swollen eyelids with the tips of her fingers. "Mason is just as guilty."

"Yeah," I mumble my agreement, my heart aching with betrayal and hurt. My shoulders feel heavy with the weight of hate that has been placed upon them.

Piper pulls her hair back into a ponytail and glares at the floor. "We should get revenge. Do you have any eggs in your fridge, Carrie?"

My lip twitches at the irony of her words while Tahlia rolls her eyes. "Do you even hear the hypocrisy in your voice?"

Piper ignores her. "A tit-for-tat sort've thing, you know?"

"Yeah, well I'm not a tit-for-tat kind of girl," Tahlia snaps.

Tiers screech outside and from the corner of my eye I watch as a wall of white ascends into the sky, obscuring the car from view. The moment the snow and ice settles down, I recognise the SUV—although it's coated in the thick whiteness—which has skidded onto the Fosters lawn.