Madeline

Chapter 5

I assumed that the most difficult part about this whole thing - I mean, other than going through with it - would be to reconcile it in my mind and actually decide that I would comply. I thought once I learned what I needed to from Penelope, I'd be sent off to the prince, and that'd be the end of it. But apparently, I was going to have to make the prince want to pick me. Very soon I would be going to the castle for some event where there would be dozens of other girls who were all looking to fill the same position.

Part of me couldn't believe there were that many girls who had fathers like mine. Or even more unbelievable, girls who actually wanted to do this. Mostly though, I felt pretty hopeless. I'd never even really been around a boy before. Penelope could tell me all she wanted about how men thought and what they liked and how to behave and talk to them, but I had a feeling it was going to be totally different when I was actually faced with one. I was sure every one of these girls would be more practiced, more confident, and more alluring to a prince who'd probably had everything he wanted since he was born.

I'd never met the prince. I'd never even seen the prince, but Penelope told me he was twenty-one and about to be married. He must have had mistresses before. Why in the world would he want one like me? One who didn't have a clue what she was doing and didn't want to.

It felt strange to actually want him to pick me, but I was so afraid of what Father would do otherwise, I was almost eager for it. And at least it would get me far away from him. Being a mistress might be degrading and humiliating, but at least there was that. And so I honestly tried to absorb everything Penelope said. Awkward and embarrassing as it was, I made up my mind to really learn. I just wish it didn't feel so pointless. After all, what chance was there that the prince would choose me? And if he didn't, wasn't this all for nothing?

"At least you've got one advantage," Penelope was saying during one of our lessons.

"What advantage?" I asked, confused. I was getting sick of hearing about the advantage of my looks, but even so, why should that set me apart from any of those other girls?

"You're not flashy and brazen like most of those girls will be," she said. "The prince will be looking for someone sweet and more demure."

"How do you know that?" It seemed all wrong.

"It's my job to know," she said. "The prince has never had a regular mistress before, but I know he doesn't care for the more bold types."

"What makes you say that?" I asked. "If he's never had a regular mistress before..." Something I found a little unbelievable.

"He's not the type," she said. "When you get there, you watch how he is with those kind of girls."

Nerves fluttered in my stomach at the thought at actually going there. I'd be leaving for the castle in only a couple of days.

Penelope could tell. "Try not to worry," she said. "The prince is very kind. He'd be good to you."

I stared back at her. How kind could he be to hold this kind of event? He had to know how it worked and that girls like me were forced into it.

"He is," she insisted. "Perhaps remembering that will make it easier for you to do what you need to."

Reminding myself that I didn't have a choice anyway, I nodded. If I pretended that was true, maybe I could go through with this.

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The trip to the castle was long and uncomfortable. Mainly because I had to ride the entire way with my father. Not to mention the reason for the trip. I never realized how far away we lived though, and I was glad. If I did wind up staying, I really would be far away from him. It was at least an hour's drive, maybe longer.