After Effects [oumasai]

~this Society~

Kokichis pov

"the sky is pretty at this view..." I whispered to myself, as I watched the sun set. Some may say I don't act like the 'kokichi ouma' the know and love from the game... Well that what my die hard fans said when when they broke into my hospital room last week.

It had been about... What? Two months when everyone else  woke up from danganronpa. While me, I only woke up a week weeks ago. And I'm going to be in the hospital for another week or so.

I sat on my bed and stared out of the window. It was about six o'clock on the evening and the sun was just setting. The sky was a mix of reds, pinks and oranges. It was like a painting. A beautiful painting. And yet, with the neon pink in, it made it a painful.nThe neon pink reminding me of that hell hole people called danganronpa

A painfully beautiful painting.

I remember, every single spec of blood I saw with my eyes, all the death of my friends. One's I caused and one's I couldn't stop.
Everything that happened there had me going and becoming a mess there. I even Someone got hurt and killed.

The way kaede tried to grab Shuichi for help.

The was Kirumi ran for her life to be saved and for everyone on the outside world...

How korekiyo just wanted to see his sister again...even though it sounded like some kind of abuse.

The betrayal that shone in Gontas eyes.... Oh Gonta...
I

hate myself for what I did to him.

Rantaro.... just wanted to ene the horrible game.

Ryouma..... wanted to help Kirumi.
H

e saw his own death coming...

Anige... Did what she thought was right...

Tenko...Just wanted to protect Himiko...

Miu... Wanted to end me. I don't blame her. I'm sure everyone did.
I should have let her.

Kaito...killed me just so he could save maki. Someone who he cared for.

Somthing I will never feel not when it's  impossible to love or care for a Lier like me.

A few days ago when I was on my phone I even found a picture of my... In between mental plates crush. Every bone in my body squashed. In panic, grabbed my torsos to make sure I was still in once piece.

No one knew what went on in my head. No one. I can't tell anyone. And apparently I was like that before my memories were changed for danganronpa.

I was the only person who know what went on in my head.
I silently cried and looked out the window. When People from my old school had permission to come and see me, the only people who have seen me so far.
And from the stories, I'm not that different then what I used to be.

We both hide emotions, and tried to not get close with people.
We are both smart and hard to become friends with everyone.

Thought the other boy seems quite, shy and an easy bully target.
While I'm loud, selfish and I am the bully. Well that what I want people to think anyway. I didn't want people to become close with, that was the truth... 

In reality, I am the body of lies, I'm isolated and scared. Even as I stay away and annoy everyone, I'm here silently begging for help.

I hated being by myself, all I would have to give me company was my thoughts, and I didn't like most of my thoughts. They lead me to have panic attacks and ideas to run out of this hospital and out this world. I would be alone most of the day, until the nurses did my few check up each day. No one visted me either. Not including my old class and thoses crazy ass fans who broke in.

Though DICE isn't real... It would of been nice if they were.

Also according to my old class mates, I used to draw alot. And my 'DICE' members were small ocs I had made. I must of been a pretty lame person. Not like I'm any better now.

I let out a shakey sigh and watched as a few birds flew past my window. All the freedoms have.. Its unfair. They can't get trapped in society,  since thier society is free.

While our society revole on our phones and the news.. We rely on others to do things for us.
We are all just lazy people.

We are all bossed by people up top and are tired to chains of laws and rules. They claim sits for the beteer but behind half of them, there are just lies so they gain people trust and we become their mindless servents so they can get money.

The proof is all around us and yet no one will believe it when I say it.
Because they will use the excuse
'your a kid you don't know'
'don't got aroud saying such lies'
'that's not at all true'
' you need to give them more credit'

At this point, the excuse are being boring.

In a small way, danganronpa could be class as useful. It can help someone to open thier eyes and realise that they need to rely more on themselves instead of others.
However, Kaito did nothing but rely on Shuichi in the class trials.
Himiko just relied on Tenko and angie until she was left alone.
And most of us relied on Kirumi... Mom...
Thought I did rely on Kirumi sometimes. But not as much as others.
I wanted to keep to myself as much as possible.

I was pulled out of my depressing thoughts as I heard my door open. I slowing turned my head to see one of my nurses. I gave her a small smile and wave to go with his. "hello Mr ouma, you have a visitor, shall I send them up?" she asked.

Someone... Wants to see me!?

There was a built up of excitement in my chest. Something I haven't felt since me and shuichi played the knife game...
My smile grew and I gave her a nod of concent. She returned a nod and left to go get I'm visitor.

I watched the door intently, think of who could walk threw soon.

Gonta?!
Kirumi?!
A DICE member!?!?
Or maby even saihara~chan!!

A small blush crept on my face as I thought about that detective. He was the last in to not hate me out of everyone there. Gonta being the last.
But I ruined both of their friendships with me...

I shook away thoses thoughts so that I won't cry to someone who's willing to put up with me!
Besides why would they ever forgive me and come and talk to me.