My Pixie

I Couldn't Love Pixies, Right?

Silently stalking through the tall grass, I watched my surroundings carefully.

Now in the fourth phase of the Hunter exams, with my memory of Hisoka now at the forefront of my mind, I decided to actually go for my license.

There is nothing you can’t do with a license, and I’m already so close. 

Back at the third exam, in the time we spent waiting for the exam to end, Hisoka had asked for another story, so I gave him one about a little girl in a red hood and a clever wolf playing nice.

As I told it, I couldn’t help but compare Hisoka to the wolf.

Both were clever, dangerous, deceiving, and apathetic to anyone but themselves.

I was like the girl, naive, trusting, ignorant.

But when I took in Hisoka’s interested expression, his childlike astonishment when the girl believed the wolf, I couldn’t help but smile.

It was surprising that Hisoka would be interested in fables.

But when I think of Blueberry, I remember his childish mannerisms, the twinkle in his eye when he found something awe-inspiring.

Suddenly it isn’t surprising anymore. 

When the third phase was over, Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio with some other man, had narrowly completed the tower.

I was so worried about them, but then they came out with grumpy smiles and triumphant eyes.

When the fourth exam started, Hisoka had to walk onto the island first.

I went second, and despite the urge to find Hisoka, I waited by the entrance for my target.

My target was some man I hadn’t even known existed.

At first, it was hard to find out who had my target number, but after asking around a little I could put it together.

Gon had happily shared his target with me when I came around and asked about mine, Killua seemed a little hesitant but followed Gon’s example. 

When Gon asked me for some tips about Hisoka, I was at a loss.

But I decided it was safer to instruct Gon to limit his fight with Hisoka, and he nodded knowingly. 

“He’s much too powerful to attempt an actual battle with. Honestly, if you can’t get his tag I would suggest going after other people.”

That’s what I said but…Gon isn’t the type. 

It was the last day now.

I haven’t seen Hisoka or Gon.

Not even Killua or Kurapika, even Leorio was nowhere to be found.

I have already achieved the six points I needed to complete the exam and decided to meet up with the others.

But I couldn’t find them.
 
I was hesitant to see Hisoka, still trying to wrap my head around our shared past.

I was angry at him, mad that he put me in a life or death situation for a laugh, furious that he disappeared on me.

Sure, we had only been together for a week, but he was special to me.

He taught me so much, made me feel lighter than I had in a long time.

Part of me thought I was special to him.

That same part of me feels like he could have even been my first love.  

But no.

He was a pixie, and I didn’t love pixies.