depth of darkness || nakahara chuuya x reader

17

both men nodded, although akutagawa grunted rudely, drawing out your irritation.

you stepped up to the darkly dressed man, fixing him with a fiery glare, raising a hand to grip his coat firmly, pulling him forward.

"if you've got something to say, asshole, you better fucking say it. my patience is wearing pretty thin." your threatening eyes lingered on akutagawa, refusing to lose this staring contest.

"y/n." chuuya spoke from beside you, his voice calming, he pushed himself off of the wall, approaching you slowly.

you ignored him, eyes fixated on the man in your grasp. you were in a foul mood, and akutagawa's unnecessary grunts of disapproval were only fueling your fury.

"you're pathetic." akutagawa spoke, venom lacing his simple insult. "you think you're tough because you got a man to talk, but you're nothing more than that, a torturing device."

your grip on his coat tightened, your lips pulled back in a nasty snarl. "i'll do what i've got to do." you answered plainly, but the furious undertone in your voice spoke volumes. "you, on the other hand, should focus on staying out of my way, you dirty little sewer rat."

"you were born only for one purpose. to become the killer you are today." akutagawa retorts coldly, his dark eyebrows drawn together in an angry grimace.

your anger continued to grow as well, and you continue to ignore chuuya's commanding calls.

"at least i don't take pride in the murders i commit. but you seem to enjoy it thoroughly. as if there's someone you feel the need to prove yourself to." you taunt, you may scoff at his words, though the thought that he may be right lingers in your mind, and your frustration swells inside you, a rage you can't explain.

akutagawa's eyes widen momentarily, but the scowl returns just as quickly as it disappeared, and the sudden burning in your arm causes you to rear back, alarms going off in your head at the sudden pain.

you hiss, and glance down at the slash in your shoulder, which was left by rashoumon, which lingers by akutagawa's head, black and bloodthirsty.

"y/n!" chuuya shouts, concern written all over his face as he approaches, and turns to glare at akutagawa threateningly.

you plaster the smooth smirk back onto your lips, and swallow your urge to yell out profanities.

you feign disinterest as chuuya reaches for your
wounded arm, to which you pull away, eyes still trained forward towards akutagawa's smug face.

the low growl that leaves your throat is animalistic and warning, both chuuya and akutagawa are taken aback by the angered noise that passes your lips. 

"big mistake." you grin, satisfaction warming your chest as you watch akutagawa's face contort with haunting memories as you activate siaka's terror ability.

the confusion and obvious panic that takes over akutagawa's formerly smug expression brings the satisfaction inside you to bubble over. you're left with the pride of taking immediate revenge against him, for the nasty slash in your upper arm.

"y/n...." chuuya's voice is cautious, and he places a warm hand on your shoulder, your gaze snapping up to meet the azure eyes that spoke stop this. you hesitated, the concern in his eyes were met with your angry, conflicted ones, and he grips your shoulder loosely, pulling you away from akutagawa as his breathing turns rapid. "y/n, stop. it's okay."

your own breathing was becoming a little unsteady as your mind yells too much.  everything is just way too much right now, and you jerk away from chuuya's touch as your mind reverts to the basic fight or flight instinct.

"i-" you cut yourself off, and turn to stare into akutagawa's fear-stricken eyes, which stared ahead at nothing. you felt the satisfaction in you turn to your own panic, and mouth dried of all protests you were thinking up. you had no argument.

you release your influence on akutagawa's subconscious, and the man is instantly seething with rage, a new fire in his eyes that had not previously been lit.

"why you-" he grits out, fully prepared to bring his wrath down upon you, but chuuya's warning glare stops him in his tracks, the
red-head stepping in front of him, menacing expression painted on his face.

"back off, akutagawa. this isn't the time, place, or opponent you want to get into this with." his advised, his tone commanding and full of impatience.

you dropped your gaze down to your shoes, remorse filling you quickly as you realize what you've just done. your inner turmoil risee to the surface of your mind, drawing your attention and you couldn't seem to stop your mind from screaming.

you were moving before you could think about your actions, and the sound of your shoes on the staircase was filling your ears before you had the time to think about the sudden silence between the three of you.

you didn't understand why you had gotten so angry at akutagawa in the first place, he wasn't any of your concern. he was simply someone you had to put up with in order to continue working with the port mafia. you definitely understood that you should not have retaliated against him, but in the moment you felt you had no choice. your desire to prove that you weren't going to take his shit had suddenly outweighed your desire to get through the day without incident, and you acted on your sudden rage. but now every emotion inside you was conflicted, and you sought to clear your head before you burst.

you let your legs guide you down the familiar corridors, the gash in your left arm leaving a trail of crimson droplets on the stone floors beneath you. you squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath as you slowed your hurried pace, leaning against the wall to steady your racing heart.

it's so hard to move on when you're so used to being a weapon and only a weapon. you aren't used to all these complicated emotions and having your own thoughts, opinions, interests. you barely know what to make of it all, and you surely couldn't make any sense of it.

maybe if i never had to learn how not to live, i'd be pretty good at it by now

but that was not the case, and you were faced with that fact day after day.

if only i had a mind that was my own

if only i knew how to take it back now that it's not