To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 16

*CONTENT WARNING* This chapter and the next one take place in the hospital and discuss sexual assault and self-harm/suicide. 

I woke up in an unfamiliar white room. I could hear an incessant, steady beeping sound from somewhere around me, but I didn't quite have the strength to look around yet. I looked around as much as I could without moving and saw my parents, sitting in two chairs against the wall. They were both asleep, Mom was resting her head on Dad's shoulder, who sat with his arms crossed, and his head leaning on hers. As my eyes explored the room, I noticed medical posters on the wall and realized I was in the hospital. Then it clicked that the beeping sound was a heart rate monitor, and the beeping began to get faster and faster as I regained more awareness. Flashbacks of Adam attacking me raced through my head and I relived the moments that led me here.

"No!" I shouted out involuntarily as I saw a flashback of my head hitting the headboard. I felt a pressure on my hand that caused me to jump and pull my hand back. I looked to my left to see Trent, sleep still in his eyes in a chair by my bedside.

"Oh, thank god, I was so worried," he cried as he tried to reach for my hand again. I pulled it further away and he frowned a little but pulled his hand away from me. "How do you feel?" He asked.

"C-confused," I whispered.

"You texted me that Adam broke into your room, I immediately left for your house, and I called the police on my way. When I got there you were unconscious, and he was... he was undressing you, I fought him off you and then an ambulance came and the police arrested him." Tears were streaming down my face, both out of relief and from anger. I was relieved he didn't get to finish what he started, glad that Trent was able to save me, but so angry that this happened, that I let this happen.

"Th-thank you," I said, and then I looked to my parents, they managed to stay asleep through my outburst. I was thankful, as I wasn't ready to face them yet. The pain they must be feeling, the betrayal, the anger, at who I didn't know.

"Do you want me to wake them" Trent asked, nodding toward my sleeping folks. I shook my head and he nodded. "Gray, there's something else," Trent's expression fell, becoming more serious if that was possible. Confusion crossed my face as my heartrate increased again. "The doctors found some... some cuts, on your arms." I choked on my breath as I began to sob, the weight of the whole situation, and the world, crashing down on me once the words left Trent's mouth. I felt like I was 10 years old again, like all of this was happening for the first time, and I was waking up alone in my bed, my whole body in pain unable to move.

"I... I-I uh..." I struggled to find words to explain myself, to explain away what I had done to myself. Trent wasn't dumb though; he couldn't be fooled into thinking I hadn't done those to myself on purpose.

"Sh," Trent cooed. "It's okay baby." The calming, gentle tone to his usually raspy voice comforted me, and helped me get my breathing under control. "I understand, you've been carrying around a huge secret and a lot of pain. I just... I want you to know that I care so deeply about you. I am so lucky to call you my boyfriend." More tears fell at Trent's compliments. I smiled through them and was about to speak when I heard my parents stirring in their chairs.

"Oh my god, Grayson!" Mom shouted as she shot across the hospital room. Trent stood up and backed away from the bed.

"I'm going to go for some air, I'll let the nurses know he's awake," We all know that was code for Trent going out for a smoke. I wished he didn't leave me alone with my parents, but I know that that's what they would want, and he was in no position to defy them. At least he would save me a little by getting a nurse, who arrived shortly after he left my room.