Beautifully Broken

Chapter 37

The weekend with Tyler's friends flew by and before we knew it, they had left and it was just Harry, Tyler and myself in the house again. While I enjoy having them here and loved getting to know them better, it was nice to have a quiet house again after they left. Natasha hadn't warmed up to anyone at all and I think she regretted coming by the end. Caitlin really tried to include her, but she was having much more fun with Kara and me.

Now it's nearly the end of July already. I still don't have a job; Dad had been checking in with me every few days and Mrs. James had been by to set out ground rules. The main one, that Tyler and I stay in our own rooms, but we broke that all the time. What can I say, the guy is persuasive.

He had been visiting his mom every couple of days, but there were no signs of any improvement. Today we are heading in there together and Mrs. James is meant to be meeting us. She said the doctors want to talk with Tyler and he asked me to be there for support. He was a nervous wreck and I had that awful bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Popping my head into his bedroom, I see him standing and looking out to the ocean through his wall to ceiling windows. Something he did a lot when he was nervous or sad.

"You ready to go?" I asked softly, he turned at the sound of my voice smiling softly, but the smile never reached his eyes. Nodding, he walked to me, kissing me on the head and taking my hand as we made our way downstairs and out of the house.

The drive was silent, we both had a feeling we knew what was coming with this meeting with the doctors, but neither wanted to say it out loud. Parking the car and making our way inside, Tyler never let go of my hand. We stepped into the elevator, hitting the button for the 5th floor like we had done together for the last few weeks. 

"Whatever happens today, I got you. Don't push me away, let me be there for you" I said to him.

"Of course, baby" he replied, pulling me in closer to his side, I reached up planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

As we stepped out of the elevator, Mrs. James was waiting for us. She hugged us both hello and led us down the hallway to Tyler's mom's room. Nothing felt right, we were all stiff, no one wanted to speak in fear of saying the wrong thing and certainly no one wanted to admit what we were all thinking. My hands felt clammy, it wasn't cold in here, but I had goosebumps. 

We entered the room; nothing had changed since we were here last. I noted all of the machines still hooked up to her, breathing for her, keeping her alive. Tyler sat next to her, taking her hand, I stood behind him, my hand on his shoulder. It wasn't long before the doctor entered the room.

"Good Morning Tyler, Vanessa" he shook each of their hands.

"This is my girlfriend Kayla, hope it's ok she's here" Tyler said to him, introducing me. I had come with Tyler plenty of times before, but hadn't yet met the doctor in charge of her care. 

"Of course. Nice to meet you Kayla. Let me get right to it. As you know we have been monitoring brain activity, routine MRI's. I'm afraid it isn't good news son. In the beginning there was some hope with some brain activity, but the last test we did yesterday showed a rapid decrease, next to none. The time has come that we need to consider turning off the life support, we don't believe there is any hope of recovery. I'm very sorry"

Tyler stared at his Mom, Mrs. James said nothing looking at the floor, I watched the doctor. He seemed sorry, but almost unfazed, like he has delivered this message countless times. I'm not sure if his bluntness brought comfort or annoyed me. He just delivered a speech that for him that is just doing his job, but for Tyler means that his mom will really be gone. Even though she hasn't been conscious for 2 months now, this will be final.

"How much time do we have to think about this and discuss it?" Mrs James asked the doctor.

"As much time as you need" he answered. 

"Do it. Turn them off. Like you said, there is no chance. Let's just get it done" Tyler said, his eyes still not leaving his mom.

"Ty, are you sure? You have some time, you can say goodbye" Mrs James asked softly.

"Yes. She wouldn't want to lie here a vegetable, we have all been kidding ourselves she would wake up and even she had of ever woken up, it wouldn't ever be the same again. I've had plenty of time, I don't need more" he said, I could see the tears in his eyes now as the reality hit.

"We should bring Madi in, so she can say goodbye" Mrs James suggested.

"No. I don't want her to remember our mom like this. Let's just do it now" Tyler stated firmly.

"I'll arrange the paperwork and give you some time to say your final goodbyes" the doctor said, leaving the room.

The room was silent, no one knew what to say and even though we all expected this coming in here today, it was now real. So very real.

The doctor returned a short time later with some papers that Mrs. James had to sign as her next of kin. Then the nurses bustled in, we watched as they shut down the machines slowly, removing the tubing from her throat, leaving just the heart monitors on. The beeping the only sounds in the room, before soon enough, that flat lined.

Without the machines and tubing, she looked peaceful. I could see so much of Madi in her. Finally, Tyler stood from the chair, moved to his mother, and kissed her on the head then turned, took my hand and we made our way out of the room. Mrs. James had stood in the corner of the room the whole time, watching over Tyler, unsure how he would react. I hoped that she would take the time she needed too, to say goodbye.

Before we left the room, Tyler turned to his Aunt, "Thank you for being here. Let me know what we need to do for funeral arrangements" he said.

"I'll take care of it, Ty" she said, and he nodded. I went to follow, but she called to me to wait. Letting go of his hand while he continued walking I turned back

"Take care of him Kayla. Please, call me if you need. I'll call Harry and let him know" she said, and I nodded, hurrying to follow Tyler out of the room. I caught up to him at the elevator.

Again, we rode in silence. Silence the whole way till we got back to the house. I followed him inside and watched as he walked straight through the house, taking a surfboard, and making his way to the beach. Turning to the lounge, I saw Harry and Mason sitting there, watching us.

One look at them and I let out everything I had been holding in for him. I sunk to the floor and I cried. I cried for Tyler because he was unable to. I cried because he had already begun to shut me out. I cried for his mom, who was never coming back. He had now lost both of his parents and while I at times felt like I had too, mine were at least still alive.

"He will be ok Kayla. It's not like when he first came here, he has you now and he has us. It won't be easy, but he will be ok" Harry comforted me.

"I'm going to go sit on the beach, watch him surf. I know he wants to be alone, but if I'm at least on the beach, he will know he doesn't have to shut me out" I said, wiping up my tears and making my way out of the house too.

Of all the shit we have both suffered this summer so far, this hurts the most. This is so final.

I sat on the beach watching him in the water. For a long while he sat beyond the break. I could tell he was crying by the way his shoulders moved. But I knew the ocean was his place, we had talked about it so many times before. 

After some time, he finally made a move and he rode the waves and my god he was good. I could see it in his face, he relaxed, just like the first time I watched him surf, he let the ocean determine his path.

After an hour on the water, he found a place beside me on the sand. We sat silently again. After some few minutes, he took my hand in his.

"Thank-you, for being there today, for being here right now too"

"Of course, Tyler. We are a team; we do this together" I replied.

"She's actually gone now. It's over, Madi and I, we have no parents"

"That doesn't mean you don't have family andfriends who are just like your family. And me. I'm not going anywhere" I said,leaning my head on his shoulder as he draped his arm around me, pulling me incloser.