Not a Monster (Dabi x Reader)*COMPLETED*

Chapter 13 ⚠️

   My eyes shoot open as I try to catch my breath. The nightmares still fresh in my mind as I feel my heart rattle erratically in my chest.

   It started the same as it always did. Reliving the day my dad died...but now I also had to relive the day my life came crashing down after I worked so hard to forget and be happy. The flashes of the man I loved looking at me in disgust, just like my friends after word got around, the whispers and dirty looks even from the pro hero's that taught at the school...

   I deliberately slowed my breathing to calm myself down, reminding myself that's it's in the past and that I'm far away from it all. I yawn, but it's cut short as I realize I'm cuddled up to something that's definitely not my pillow. It's too solid and way too warm to be.

   Looking up I see the back of a head of messy black hair, looking down I see my arms snaked around his waist. 'Oh...OH!'

   My face erupts into a fiery blush as I yank my arms back to me in a small panic. The force of my movement causing me to lose my balance with a gasp as I fell off the edge. Hitting the floor with a loud thud.

   A pained groan escapes my lips as the man on the couch stirs and turns around. Sleepily rubbing his eyes he looks down at me, sprawled out on the floor. His eyes widen and I think I see slight flash of pink that disappears as fast as I had spotted it, being quickly replaced with his famous amused smirk.

   "You ok down there?" He chuckles, his voice deeper and raspier than usual from sleep. It sent goosebumps across my skin. "That sounded like quite the tumble"

   "I-uh, yeah" I look away and shrug off the tingles as I stand up and stretch. The dull pain in my shoulder taking my mind off the awkwardness I was feeling, "I'm gonna go take a shower. Feel free to make yourself at home, or whatever you decide to do."

   "Nah, I'm gonna head home for the day'" he says. Looking down at him as he sat up, I notice his usual mischievous expression has been replaced by a mask of seriousness while he stares at the floor. Probably still trying to wake up I figure.

   "Okay... well thank you for sticking with me yesterday..." I say, hoping to lighten his mood a bit.

   " No problem, Doll. " his expression going back to normal as he gets up and walks to the door. "Try not to fall in the shower though. You clumsy little dork" he adds with a grin. Earning an embarrassed huff from me.

   As he closed the door behind him, I made my way to my bathroom to shower. Letting the hot water relax my body and wash away what remained of the nightmare and my embarrassment.

...

   Izuku had decided to FaceTime me a little later in the day. He was at one of the campus cafes. "Yeah, I came here to study for the upcoming exams. It's pretty relaxing here. " the freckled boy on the screen said. "But I decided to take a break and give you a call. Since... since we've been too busy to come visit yet..." he frowned, obviously feeling guilty.

   A soft laugh passes my lips as I assured him there wasn't a reason to feel bad and that I wasn't upset.

   We had talked for a good while, catching up and enjoying the little virtual visit. "Yeah! I even got a job that I get to start soon!" I said excitedly, which made a big happy grin stretch across his freckled face.

   My face dropped as I spotted a familiar head of ash blonde hair in the background at another table. Just in time to see him kiss the brunette in the booth beside him and give her the warmest smile I'd ever seen on his face.

   My stomach churned. He used to look at me like that... "H-hey, you ok Y/n?" My friend asked, worried about my sudden shift in attitude.

   I blink and refocus on my green eyed friend and gave him my best fake smile. "Yeah, there was a storm last night, so I didn't sleep very well" I half lied. I just didn't want him to worry with all the stuff he already had on his plate.

   He was still a little skeptical but accepted my explanation. "Well maybe you should rest up a little. You've got to take care of yourself" I nodded and assured him I would before exchanging goodbyes and ending the call.

   And just like that, my mental health was back to square one. I lost all the energy I had as I tried to push back all the negative memories and feelings that were eager to flood back into my mind.

   I manage to muster up enough motivation to distract myself with cleaning, cooking when it came meal time, and doing the small stack of paperwork I was going to have to hand in on my first day of work. When there was nothing else to do, I turned on Netflix until I fell asleep.

...

I had even less energy than the day prior. The nightmares hit again and were so vivid, but I was still holding on. I wasn't going to let this break me again. Izuku had even texted to check up on me. Thankfully it's easy to fake a good mood over text, as much as I hated lying to my best friend, he really didn't need to worry about me right now.

   Dabi came over for dinner like usual, too lazy to make or get his own. He was definitely suspicious that something was up, but You managed to pull yourself together enough for him to stop giving you those weird questioning looks.

   That night you decided to take an over the counter sleep aide in hopes that you'd sleep a little better. You were wrong.
   It only ended up trapping you in your nightmares, unable to wake yourself up like you normally would.

...

   You wake up late in the afternoon with tears in your eyes and gasping for air. You could feel the downward spiral your mental health was taking. It was headed towards a very dark place. You tried to call your therapist only to find that she'd gone on a small 3 day vacation. Her assistant had said she'd emailed you and her other clients, but you rarely check those these days.

   You feel yourself start to crumble. Sliding down to the floor in front of your bed, still in your sleep clothes, you fight to hold back the tears as all the guilt and blame you placed on yourself hit you at once. Unable to push things down anymore as you remember the faces and sounds your dad made before running away to end his own life, the broken look on your mother's face for the first year you were in the quirk center, how Katsuki looked at you like you were a monster. All the whispers calling you a monster and a villain from students and teachers swirling around in your head gave you a blinding headache.

   You hadn't realized you'd let the tears start falling. You also hadn't realized that you'd been sitting there for hours, sobbing uncontrollably and unable to stop.

   You were so caught up in what was going on in your mind that you failed to hear the frantic knocking on your front door.

   You didn't notice your bedroom door swing open either, until you felt arms wrap around you tightly. Feeling rough skin against the soft skin of your arms. It could only be one person, and you knew you couldn't control anything right now.

'Oh god no. No, no, no, no, NO'