The Caged Bird

Chapter 15

Warning: sensitive topics are being discussed in this chapter, which can be triggering. Read at own risk!

I can recommend the song above, it is called light and darkness!

Yesterday Evelyn left our house. I wanted her to stay longer. She brought a certain brightness with her that I longed for. A brightness that scared the devil away, my husband. He kept his hands to himself while his sister was here, and I enjoyed every minute of it. But Evelyn had really to go. She had not visited her parents yet after her arrival back here.

So, with a heavy heart, I waved her goodbye.

After she left, Edric left as well. I was again all alone in the house, with the exception of the three maids.

I went to the bathroom where I had hidden something Evelyn gave me. A pregnancy test. She had said to give it a try if my nausea did not go away and my period made no appearance. Now, it was two days ago she had given it to me.

Should I try it? No, just wait for your period. But what if I am really pregnant? Impossible, that could not be the case. I had watched one movie about women trying to get pregnant and it could take years. But there was still a chance, right?

I sighed.

Me pacing in the bathroom was not going to help me. Nevertheless, it was the only thing I could do. 

I think I had spent at least three hours, debating about taking or not taking the pregnancy test. Then I had a sudden realization, the pregnancy test will not only show me if I was pregnant. It would also show me I was not pregnant. So, it could not hurt.

Why did I not think of this sooner?

I sat down on the toilet. Peed on the strip. And... waited.

It felt like hours and I hated myself for doing this on my own. I should have taken it while Evelyn was still here.

While I was waiting, I became more and more panicked. How was I going to raise a child? I am barely an adult myself. And how was I going to raise a child in this household? This child would be a product of a bad and toxic relationship. I did not want the child to grow up like Edric, but also not like me. Edric was... was an awfully bad person, nobody should be like him. But if the child ended up like me, they would be terrified their whole life.

And how could I be a mother? I grew up without one. I had never seen a mother in my life before marrying Edric. That was a weird but painful realization I made. The only mothers I had seen were in the movies I was allowed to watch. But how can you possibly raise a child on the mere knowledge of movies? 

All these thoughts crashed against each other in my mind, giving me a headache.

I checked the time, and the result should be visible now.

I looked.

No!

No, no, no, no, no. Denial. That was all I could think of when seeing the test. This could not be true. This had to be a lie. This had to be a lie. No!

The test said: pregnant: 4-6 weeks.

I fell on my knees and cried. In a matter of a half year, my life turned upside down. I got engaged, married to an evil man, and am now pregnant. This could not be true. I wanted to go back, go back to the time where I was still naïve, dumb, and ignorant. At the time I almost knew nothing about the true nature of the world, where I could be still a beautiful dream, an unrealistic fantasy.

I knew now what they meant with staying pure. I was now contaminated by the outside world.

I was no longer pure.

I went from the light to the darkness.

• • •

I did not know how long I sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom. All I knew was that I longed for a shoulder I could cry on. I got my phone from the counter and dialed Evelyn's number. The first time she did not pick up. I tried again.

"Ava? Ava, are you alright?" She spoke in a distressed voice like she already knew what was happening to me.

"I'm fine but-"

I was cut off by her. "Ava, listen to me, stay where you are. We will be there in a minute, okay? Stay where you are!"

With that, she hung up.

I stayed in the bathroom as Evelyn asked me to do. I did not really care why she sounded distressed. I could only care for the predicament I found myself in right now.

I waited until I heard multiple footsteps and voices in the foyer. I got up to check it out. I walked downstairs and was met by the family of my husband and some other men in black suits I did not know.

Edric was the first one who approached me. "Are you okay? Nobody hurt you?" He asked in a serious manner. It felt weird to be addressed this way by him. He placed a hand on my shoulder and looked around me to check if I was alright. I had to hold back a flinch and my body tensed.

But his behavior and so of the others brought questions up.

"W-Why would I b-be hurt?" I asked softly, looking at Edric, Evelyn, and his parents.

It was Evelyn who spoke up first. "Maybe you should sit down fi-"

"Your father was murdered in his mansion and your brother died in a car accident, it was most likely a setup. Your family was attacked, and we thought you might be attacked as well." Again, Edric said seriously and robot-like manner.

I could not process the information as I stammered out nonsense. My family was dead? This could not be happening. This could not be happening right now!

I got dizzy. My body swayed.

Everybody gasped but Edric was quick to put me back on my feet. "This can't be true... he-he... he's supposed... they...I-I'm." I stammered. 

I looked down at the pregnancy test that I had clutched in my hand. "This can't be happening," I whispered. 

Thanks for reading and stay safe!