oN mY bLock iMagines

second best. cesar

you stumbled forward, tripping over your own feet on the way to the bathroom. jasmine, grabbed your arm, stopping your from falling flat on your face. you were such a mess. you didn't think you'd ever been that drunk before. but once you'd started you couldn't slow down.

jasmine had been keeping an eye on you all night, making sure you didn't get into any trouble but it was hard. you were all over the place. dancing. drinking. sitting. talking. you moved around quicker than she could keep up with. you were trying to forget about him, she knew that, so she let you drink yourself silly. but she didn't want you to get hurt in the process. you were pretty emotionally unstable.

he'd chosen her over you again. story of your life. you loved monse, which made it even harder for you to be mad at her. cesar on the other hand, you were ready to throw hands in you saw him again tonight. he played around with you so much it hurt. you'd been crushing on him for so long and he showed signs too. but he always chose monse over you. you could never compete. it broke your heart.

hence the alcohol.

but it was catching up with you. you entered the bathroom, jasmine quickly pulling your hair out of your face and tying it back. you were now kneeling on the bathroom floor with your head in the toilet as you threw up everything that was in your system.

tears formed in your eyes when you slumped back against the bath, wiping the sides of your mouth. you were a mess. "i just don't understand," you cried softly. jasmine wrapped her arm around you, letting you rest your head on her shoulder. she was a good friend, no matter what anyone said. "why doesn't he want me?"

she shushed you, tightening her grip on you as you cried into her shoulder. "he doesn't deserve you. mami, you deserve so much better than him," she tried to reassure you. you knew she was right. but this was cesar, he'd been your friend for years, there was no one better than him. he was the nicest guy you knew. he always walked you home, helped you study, hung out with you when you were sad. he did all of this and more but he would never choose you over monse. you didn't want him to pick anyone over anyone. you just wanted him to pick you.

he'd always made it seem that he felt more for you than just a friend, he treated you different to how he treated his other friends. it made no sense. you cried out of frustration. you felt pretty battered and weak at this point, you just wanted to go home.

you sniffled, composing yourself after you'd let yourself have a good cry. you needed that. you needed to get it all out.

"hey—" your head snapped to the unlocked bathroom door, where ruby and jamal now stood after barging in. they must have seen you and jasmine come in here earlier. "woah— what happened?" their demeanours both changed quickly when they saw your sad face and jasmine glaring at them to watch what they said.

"nothing," you wiped under your eyes, though it was hard to disguise what had happened. you stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror. your mascara had smudged under your puffy eyes and your cheeks were pink and wet. you sighed. "i'm gonna go home."

jasmine handed you a wipe, and you began cleaning yourself up. you suddenly felt incredibly sober. you wiped under your eyes, and took off the little makeup you had on. you splashed your face with cold water and downed some mouthwash. you didn't think ruby would mind since this was his house.

"y'sure you don't wanna talk about it?" jamal piped up. they had all stood outside while you got yourself together. you nodded upon exiting the bathroom. "we can walk you home."

you shook your head. "it's ok. i need to be by myself."

"ok. i get it. but you can be by yourself with us, girl, 'cause you're not walking yourself home. it's late," jasmine chimed in. ruby and jamal agreed, and soon enough they were all walking you back to your house. they all chattered, trying to take your mind off things but you remained in a quiet little bubble, drowning out any noise they were making. you appreciated them doing this but you weren't up to talking. you just wanted to get home and climb into bed.