Patience//BILLIE EILISH

four

I read her lips, "Okay, princess."

The waitress hands us our menus and we take a look at the options. I am immediately drawn to the zucchini pasta, although I make sure to read the whole menu before settling on one. When the waitress comes over to take our orders, she looks to Billie first, presumably asking what she wants.

When the waitress turns to me, I show her the menu and point to what I would like, then I hold up my finger, signaling for her to stay and listen. She smiles and waits while I clear my throat, "No peppers please."

She furrows her eyebrows like she doesn't understand. I am not sure which part I pronounced incorrectly, but I try again, "No peppers please." I say less confidently. When the girl still looks at me with confusion, I see Billie's hand flash in my line of sight. I look to her and see her handing me the journal with a soft smile.

I take it, embarrassed, and write my request inside. The waitress nods and smiles, leaving us.

I know I shouldn't be embarrassed of my English, but I am regardless. I wish I could be more confident in public settings, but I try to be easy on myself, reminding myself that it is very difficult to read lips and speak. That, and I shouldn't have to. Any speech or lip-reading I do, is purely to make the other person feel more comfortable, and that's a societal problem if you ask me.

I turn to Billie, still feeling pretty humiliated, and I'm sure it shows on my face. Billie tilts her head and holds out both of her hands across the table, for me to hold. I hold them and look into her eyes. She doesn't try to say anything, but just looks at me comfortingly.

After a few moments, she takes the journal and writes inside. I solemnly look over at the page, both of my hands still in hers, "you are very beautiful, baby."

I make an aww face and look over at Billie. All I want to do is hug her, but there is an inconvenient table between us.

I write just that in the journal and and sadly look at the beautiful girl across from me. She reads it and looks back to me with a cheeky smile, getting up from her seat and coming over to me, scooping me up into one of her amazing hugs.

I just melt into her warm body. She goes to pull away and I hold onto her tighter, not caring if people stare anymore. Billie relaxes again and returns her arms around my body as they were before.

Her lips brush against my ear, and I feel the vibration when she hums into it. It gives me a zoo of butterflies and I giggle, snuggling into her further as she tightens her arms around me like a blanket.

We soon return to our seats and when the food arrives, Billie stops the waitress and speaks to her for a short while before she takes the food back into the kitchen. I look at her with one eyebrow lifted, then I look down to my stomach and back up to her, feeling it grumble.

She giggles at me and writes, "Your stomach was a paid actor."

I giggle as well and write inside, "Exactly, now why is my precious food gone?"

She reads it and mouths, "Wait."

I give her an unamused look before the waitress comes back, holding two take-home boxes with our food in it. Billie accepts them and writes, "I thought we could take this home to eat so you can relax more."

I smile a little in relief and look to her, signing, "Thank you."

She nods and stands, taking my hand to help me out of my seat and walking us out to the car. Billie helps me in and hands me the boxes of food, closing the door for me. She gets in the driver's seat and starts the car, putting it in drive.

When she shifts into drive, the seatbelt light turns on and she turns to look at me, still not strapped in. I hold up the boxes to show her I can't put it on myself and she smirks.

Billie puts the car back in park and leans over me. As she reaches for the seatbelt across me, she brings her face up to mine, breathing on my lips and licking her own. I let out a 'hum' at her action and she smirks, buckling me in and returning to her seat.

Damn, she could hear that, huh?

Truth be told, I could have buckled myself in, but I think we both enjoyed the second option more. We drive off and she seems to be taking us back to my place.

The drive is pretty nice, just the two of us sitting in a car together, bass booming in our ears.  When we arrive, Billie turns to me and I look up at her with big doe eyes. She is just so beautiful.

I draw my eyes around her face, inspecting each of her features carefully. I watch as her cheeks turn pink and I smirk. I lift my hand to caress her cheek and immediately pull away as if it's burning me, and I blow on my fingers, showing her it's hot.

She blushes deeper and lets out a laugh.

We head inside my apartment and I open up my box of food as quickly as possible, licking my lips at the sight of beautiful food. Billie takes out the journal and writes inside, placing it in my view, "Careful when licking your lips like that around me."

I look up and blush, biting my bottom lip this time. She just smirks and looks through my drawers, finding utensils for us both and picking up the boxes. She makes her way over to the couch and turns on the TV, me following closely behind.

I sit so our shoulders are touching and feel goosebumps rise on her arm. I smile a little bit in satisfaction and see Billie turn on the TV. She puts on The Office without even asking what I want, but she makes sure to turn on subtitles.

I'm okay with it because the characters don't show much emotion anyway, so captions are quite accurate. They really convey the awkward and mundane feel of the show.

As we finish our meals, I watch Billie laugh at the funny quips of the characters and smile. She looks so beautiful when she laughs.

When Billie finishes, she keeps her box on her lap until I finish, then takes the two into the kitchen to properly dispose of them. When she returns, she turns off the TV and grabs the journal.

I prefer to use a journal and not my phone in many situations because it feels more personable and raw. I'm glad Billie feels the same way. Texting is easier and faster, and my past hearing partners have insisted on it.

Like, come on man, let's be romantic and use this pretty journal instead.

Anyway, my point is that I really like Billie.

I watch Billie's concentrated face as she takes the pen and draws it along the paper.