Do it to me || Brahms Heelshire X Reader

Chapter 10

- your pov

I'm with a murderer. I can't fucking believe myself, staying with this man whose acting like an 8 years old 'boy'.

He's silent most of the times. Sometimes he's not around me, I know he's somewhere in the walls. I like the 'no guests', I don't usually talk to much to others even if they want to.

I'm really are bothered about my parents. I wonder how is their life right now. Those who abused and sexualized me, I wanna choke them so hard right now. But I want to stay silent FOR NOW.

Now i'm in a big mansion with a muscular man.

Another morning. The sunlight shines beautiful as always. It glimpse on my skin, also under my pink-silk nightdress. I have ordered some clothes online so I don't have to wear Brahms' clothes anymore.

I opened the covers and I sat up. I swung my feet off of the bed and stopped at the mirror. I fixed my slef a little before waking Brahms.

I went to his room. When I opened the door, the bed and it's sheets is completely clean. It looks like he doesn't sleep here. He's probably inside the walls again.

The room is full of toys and books. A tidy room. Brahms is such a strong guys, physically and mentally.

Like a feather, a walked inside and looked at the surroundings. The doll Brahms is sitting like a real human.

Brahms' lucky he got a beautiful and tidy room. Well what would I be expecting, they're rich.

THEY. Brahms' parents, where are they? Why aren't they here anyways?

I'm distracted by a creak behind me. I froze a second and quickly turned around. I saw Brahms. He's clean.

"Good morning, Brahms. I was about to wake you up." I said. He weakly nodded. He's eyes were not meeting mine. Wait, he's looking at my body. Why, tho?

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked nicely. He shrugged. I invited him to the kitchen. He used to watch me do food for us.

I decided to prepare some waffles and a cold and refreshing orange juice for this morning. "After this, what would you like to do?" I said, placing his plate with waffles on it and of course the juice I promised.

"Rules." He murmured.

"Huh? Why?" I said, sounded disappointed. We're doing really good and better those past weeks without the rules. Just watching movies, routines of a normal human. Why can't he just bring the rules down and forget about it?

"Mummy will be angry... I'm not following the rules anymore... She'll slap me again..." He uttered weakly. "Oh my Brahms, is she doing that to you when you're a kid...?"

He slowly nodded. Then, he took out a piece of paper folded into 2. He gave it to me. I unfolded the paper. It's the rules I saw when I first entered this manor. "Am I... your nanny now?"

He nodded again. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. Well, I can't blame him for that. He let me stay here, I have to obey him I guess. "I can be whatever you want to be, if it makes you fine."

"It's not like that. You are you. Don't be anyone."

"Back to you, Brahms." I crossed my arms and stared into his beautiful sparkling eyes. "You're not that 8 year-old 'boy' anymore. You're a man. A grown up man. You can do whatever you want to do." I tell him. It's kinda impossible for him I know, since it's his routine since child. Oh Brahms, why is this happening to you?

"I know I am a man, a grown up man. I should be doing things by my own. But it's so hard. The child on me is still alive and I want to let it go. And I can't do it... I want to but I can't. I'm sorry." He sounded hopeless. But I know his a strong man. "Don't be sorry. I know you can do it." I reassured him. I carresed his muscular and slender arms and gave him a smile. He lifted his head up to stare at me.

I stare into his eyes to know what emotion he is showing me. His mask make it impossible for me to see it. But those eyes, it shines so beautiful like a moonlight.

-

We do some routines of his, from the rules. It's different, but if it's what he likes.

I really do admire this man for his strong body, also sexy, how he is fighting is the most admirable.

"Say, What really happened? How did you ended up murdering Emily?" I was hesitant to ask him at first, but I don't want some questions stuck in my head without any answers. Will he be angry?

He put the book a little low, placing it on his lap. He gave me an emotionless gaze, "Oh sorry, don't mind me. Does it makes you uncomfy?"

He shook his head a little. "Oh..."

"My parents had me at late age, everything is strict. I was a weird and quiet boy. No one plays with me, except for her. She's the only person who talks and plays with me." He said, I nodded and focused at every words he is telling me.

"Then one day, were playing toys. Suddenly, she started throwing toys at me, breaking some toys in front of me. The whole room is a mess, she started crying so loud. That's when my parents walked in. She said that I throw and break toys at her, and of course i'll defend myself because I didn't really do it. But worthless, they believe her instead. Not their own son." I can't believe this...

"I decided to talk to her at the woods." Oh shoot, I think this is it, where it happened. Where he murdered... her?

"I said don't be like that to me. She didn't listen, instead she shouted and making fun of me. I lost it, my temper. I got angry. I pushed her, a little thud sound. I saw a rock near me. I easily took it and smashed it into her head. The blood splashed through her head to her face."

I felt sorry for emily, and was angry. Why would she do that to Brahms? I have no idea what emotion I am showing now in front of Brahms.

"But..."

"But?"

"I don't remember doing any motions like that. I don't even felt or remember holding that mediums size rock that easily. It's so weird, i've been questioning myself through the decades. It felt so real tho. But I don't have any feeling I killed her. I just remember waking up beside her dead and bloody body. I ran into my parents and told them what happened. They started panicking. My father said the police will come in any minute.

Mother put some sort of liquid on my clothes, and now I realize that it was gas. She put fire on me and the room where I was. But before doing that they told me to hid through the walls. So I did, while burning. It's so hot and painful. They did that to fake my death, because I was one of the suspicions of the police who might've killed emily.

They thought I was dead, but i'm really alive as you can see. I got few scars from the fire. That's why i'm wearing this mask, mother told me my face is more beautiful with my mask on. Just like when I was the innocent child they knew."

My heart was broken when I heard his story, and I was even more hurt by the tone of his speech. Sadly, it was as if he was saying why, why does this have to happen to him.

Another question entered my brain, why can't Brahms remember that he killed Emily? Besides, it was impossible for Brahms to do that because he was just a kid!

- to be continued