Halcyon

Part 65

As much as I want to go back with him, these so much I've avoided talking about with Kate and it need to come out, all of it.

When there's a knock on my door, I know it has to be her. Moving in my pink sweater that goes down to my thighs covering my shorts, I open the door. "Hey," I smile stepping aside to let her in, she's not alone. David's here.

David has been around for quite a while. He seems to be making Kate really happy and when I was recovering, he never even questioned me, he just showed up to make me laugh or bought me treats.

"Hey David." I shut the door behind him.

"Don't worry about me, I was just dropping her off. Hey," he leans in to hugs me and I give him a quick side hug. "You're looking better."

"Thank you-oh!" I move to the kitchen grabbing him a dessert box. "Made extra's, here." I hand it to him. "It's a mini strawberry shortcake."

"Don't mind if I do," he take it before turning to Kate. "Let me know if you need me okay?" She nods and he leans in snaking his free arm around settling it on the small of her back then pulls her in.

I drop my eyes to the ground shuffling my feet at the smack of their lips. "Thank you Halcyon."

"Of course," I look up, "anytime." I open the door for him.

"Bye baby! Bye Halcyon!"

"Bye." I smile at him then shut the door as he walks away. I turn to Kate and her lips go into a line like she always does after David sees her off, all because I get to see her flush cheeks at his goodbyes. "Bye baby!" I tease her. "Let me know if you need me okay?"

"Oh shut up." She rolls her eyes going into my kitchen. I laugh following her in and start to make us fresh coffee. "Where's my shortcake?"

"You can take from the plate," I refer to the shortcake it put on display and took a slice for myself. "There's another box, for me?" My heart skips a beat.

"No..." it's for Tamir when he's coming over later, after her obviously.

"Mmm," she hums as I turn to see she's dirtied her index and thumb finger, "this is good."

"For goodness sake Kate." I grab her a fork. I ask her a few small talk questions, have her update me on her family and her work and her relationship, before she too asks me.

"No, I haven't gone to work yet," we're sitting on the carpeted floor finishing our cakes. "I was just kidnapped like four weeks ago...I don't know if I want to back yet." I play with the lint. "I will though. At some point."

"It's okay to heal mentally too. I just...I can't help but think..." she doesn't finish making me look up, her eyes too are on the carpet watching my fidget with the lint. "You're not going back to work because of me-not me, God that sounded so vain." She laughs. "As in, because of how I just...with him."

"No." I shake my head. "No, not at all."

"But that doesn't really matter now does it?" I lift my eyes to meet hers. "I'm not stupid Halcyon. I know way better then to think throughout these weeks you haven't at least seen him. The extra box? It's not for me, I know that. You gave mine to David. The other's for him." I clench my jaw.

"It wasn't my intention to hide it-I was going to tell you-" I stop myself before I have something solid to actually go on. "I was always going to go back to him."

"Yeah," she scoffs, "I know."

"You might not like him but I love him Kate! I haven't let myself love in so long! I deserve this!"

"No! You deserve to be happy!"

"I am happy!"

"You are so stupid!" My jaw drops at her insult. "I get it okay?! You want to see the good in everything and everyone, but he has no good!"

"That's a lie!"

"It might be! But he got you here! He hurt you!"

"I'm not doing this again!" I shake my head. "You can't keep talking like you want me to chose! I won't pick between you guys! He is the man I love, but you are my only family left. I need the both of you," my eyes sting.

"I needed him Kate, when I was in the hospital bed I needed the both of you but you robbed me of that! I don't hate you for it," a warm trail fall to my cheek, "I don't. But I hurt so bad. I can't even talk to you about it. About what happened to me!"

"Yes you can."

"No Kate, I can't." I wipe my face. "Every time...every time I bring him up, good or bad, your face says it all." She looks away frustrated. "I want to come talk to you."

"You can talk to me! I'm sorry okay! I was just too sacred-seeing you in that bed I just...I didn't want him anywhere near you."

"I get it..." I sniff. More tears fall out and I try to compose myself.

"Come here," I hear her shuffle forward before her arms are around me. Finally, I can cry into her arms like I've done so many times before. I can finally sob it out into her clothes making a mess of myself but having her reassure me.

Ever since the truth about Tamir I haven't been able to really talk to her without sugarcoating, but now, here. I can just cry it all out, something I couldn't do for so long. I can do it now.

She stays a little longer and we continue to talk before she's on her way and I'm left alone. I move to the bathroom washing my face with icy water, even so, I know I can't get rid of my puffy eyes.

I even go to check if I have any frozen spoons in my freezer but the best I have is ice: I work with what I have trying to stop the puffy-ness.