Growing Into You (First Draft; Unedited)

xli.

Jayen

I nodded and sat down on the other side of the bed. She rolled towards me, her nightgown was falling off of her shoulder. It was peppered with freckles. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me through her eyelashes.

“Do you want to go first?” 

“I. . . um. . . I don’t know what to ask.” I stammered.

She laughed and intertwined her fingers with mine. “Why did you leave me last night?”

“I’m sorry. . .” I flushed red. “I’m not sure. I woke up alone and I panicked I guess. Kuna said I was already in a fragile mental state and they think that might’ve pushed me over the edge. I just. . . wanted some change of scenery?”

“Mhm. . .” She stretched. “Your turn.”

“Why did you move?” I tilted my head.

She let go of my hand and sat up. “My husband died.” She sighed. “The Town’s Guard thought I had. . . murdered him.”

“Oh, that’s terrible. . . you didn’t though. . . right?” I asked, getting a little nervous.

She got up from the bed. “It’s my turn, Jayen.”

“Oh right, I’m sorry.” 

Alexandra laughed. It was deeper than before and sounded stiffer. As if she was trying to elevate her mood. “What do you think about me?”

“I think you’re incredible,” I said a little too quickly. “I mean. I, um, I think you’re very nice and. . . you feel like home. . .” I stood up. I could see a light blush settle on her neck and cheeks. Our eyes meet through the mirror. She turned around to face me and I moved over to her side.

“I believe it’s your turn.” She whispered. I took a step back and she didn’t move from the mirror. Her eyes followed me.

“Do you want me to call you ‘my lady’ or ‘Alexandra’? I slipped up while talking to Aoife earlier and I realized I hadn’t asked you about this.”

“Call me Alexandra. . . although, address me formally in front of everyone else.” She rolled her shoulders. “I do still have an appearance to keep up. What did you mean when you called me. . . when you said I felt like ‘home’?” She turned to face me. She leaned against the dresser.

I could feel the heat rise to my face and I knew I looked like a tomato. “You make me feel safe and comfortable. . . I guess. Just like a home. When I’m with you I either feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest or like I’m going to fall asleep in your arms again.”

She hummed a low note and smiled. I could hear my heart beating and could feel it in my ears. I knew what I was going to ask next.

 “Alexandra,” I wasn’t sure how to ask her this, “were you going to kiss me when we were sparing?”

Alexandra froze. “And what if I was?”

“I would be disappointed that you didn’t.” Oh my Dei where did that come from?

“Jayen. . . do you want me to kiss you?”

“Oh, I um. I mean--yes.” Heat was creeping up my neck. 

She walked over to me and placed a hand on my waist. She pulled into her leaving no space. 

My back was to the bed and she lightly pushed me down. I fell down on the bed before pulling myself into a sitting position.

Alexandra climbed on top of me, straddling me. She let out a low chuckle. I flushed red. She grasped the back of my neck and leaned in towards my face. The soft expression on her face was gone and was replaced by a light flush and darker eyes. 

“Please. . .”

Alexandra leaned in closer, her lips grazing mine but she did not move in more than that. “Use your words, love.”

I strained my neck, trying to meet her lips. “Kiss me.”

She grasped my face and met my lips with hers. My heart exploded. She tasted like wine and honey. I moved my lips against her and wrapped my arms around her waist, trying to pull her in more. She bit my lip lightly and I moaned against her. She pulled away from me.

“Jayen. . .” She breathed out.

“Yes?” I was staring at her lips still. They were an even deeper shade of red now.

“Am I moving too fast?”

I shook my head and looked her in the eyes. “No, of course not, my lady.”

“Ah, what did I tell you?”

“Of course not. . . Alexandra.”

“I’ve wanted to do this since you gave me that little rose.” She whispered. “I’ve nearly done it several times. . .” She got off of me. “Come now, we have a lot of work to do in the garden and I’m not even dressed yet.”

I nodded and stood up. My heart was still racing and I felt drunk. I guess she’s forgiven me from my behavior last night. I stepped out of the room to let her change alone.