The Elevator

Hangover

My head was pounding, it felt like bricks were repeatedly hitting my temples repeatedly. My back ached as I felt the cool tile hit my back. I groaned and pushed my hand over my face. I hoped the darkness could creep in soon. It had been years since I got drunk. There was nothing pleasant about the sun creeping in as I pealed my eyes open.

I pushed myself upward on the back of my hands. I could feel that I was unsteady. It was like I was still drunk. The surrounding scene was blurry and I could see another figure in the distance sprawled out on my sofa. My mind tried to recall what happened last night. Images pushed through my mind of shots with Benji. As I pressed my back against the wall, I felt a chill run down my spine for no apparent reason. Benji knew my secrets and for a human he took it well, but part of me knows that alcohol can change someone's decision easily. I closed my eyes tightly. For the first time in years, I prayed to a Goddess I didn't believe, hoping that Benji would still accept me.

After speaking with Jacob yesterday, I realised I was still making the same mistakes as I did when I was a child and a teenager. I was pretending I was someone else. I was pretending I was a cold, heartless bitch that didn't care about anyone. By hiding my true self from Benji, I knew I was making myself vulnerable to potential harm from others.

I knew that Benji's dad would come back one day to hurt me, especially with Benji's new position. I knew he would use it as an opportunity to take me down and put me in place. He would show him fake love and give Benji what the only thing he wanted. His parent's acceptance for who he was. Truly, I knew it would be fake and it would only create a wedge between us. I couldn't afford to lose someone I cared about. I had invested a lot of time in Benji and he was my only friend.

I sighed deeply as I peered outside the bathroom door. I could see that Benji sprawled on the sofa and I could hear his loud snores. A chuckle escaped my lips, which I tried to cover with my hand as I began thinking of his shocked face when he discovered I was a werewolf. Surprisingly, he took the news well. Looking down on the floor, I noticed my phone, picking it up, clicking a bottle to see what time it was. It was nearly eight in the morning, groaning as I thought about the meetings I missed yesterday.

I took a deep breath and starting typing out an email to all personnel and decided for the first time in years I would play hooky and deal with my hangover. There was no need to work all the time. It was time to enjoy the fruits of my labour. I looked into the room and saw that Benji wouldn't be much help, so I was being generous and was allowing him to have the day off as well. My email was brief and to the point as I hit send.

I sniffed around and gagged. God I smelt like a brewery. I knew I needed to sober up quickly. So I stood on my feet, swaying side to side. I made my way to the waterfall shower and switched the water on. I stripped out of my clothes and welcoming the blazing heat from the water. It covered my skin and I could feel the tension and ache from my muscles ease.

I grabbed the soap and lathered myself. The bubbles were gently caressing my skin as I felt the thick stench wash away. I finished washing my hair and stepped out and wrapped a towel around my torso. I made my way to the sick and picked up the toothbrush and began scrubbing away the morning breath, which smelt like death. I focused my eyes on the mirror and although the woman in the reflection didn't look different; I felt like there was a weight lifted from her shoulders. Her eyes weren't as harsh and cold. There was a softness there that I hadn't seen for many years. She looked different; she felt different - more relaxed and content.

"It's because you are more relaxed." My wolf replied softly.

My movements halted. It was then that I scowled. My shoulders were tense and up to my ears. "I thought you got the hint that I didn't want to speak to you." I sneered.

"Louise, you have to understand-" My wolf whimpered

"Shut up Lila. You are of no use to me anymore. You finally decide to show when your precious mate makes an appearance." I scoff.

"Please, listen to me." She begged. "The pain was too much. It was hurting both of us. I thought it would be easier if I disappeared. All I wanted was for you to survive, to move on. You didn't deserve to feel that pain from our mate, especially after the way your family treated you." Lila appealed.

She was despicable. A part of me wanted to believe her but the way she responded only when she was with her mate made me question everything. Every word was a lie. Lila was just as selfish and self-serving as my mate and family. She did what everyone else did and abandoned me.

"Please Louise, don't think like that. I only left you because I thought it was best. I thought without my interference and the pain our mate was causing, I thought you would be happy." Lila sniffed.

"Stop. Calling. Me. Louise." I gritted through my teeth. I allowed my anger to open the bond that I shared with my wolf so she could feel my rage towards her actions. It was then that she retorted with her own emotions.

I hunched over the bathroom sink, gripping onto the cold ceramic edges like my life depended on it. She pushed her heartache through and it hit my chest like a truck. The pain was unfathomable. Everything ached. The tears rushed to my eyes. Everything I had brushed aside over the years came flooding back to me in an instant. Her loneliness seeped through the withering bond between the both of us. Her heart ached from the distance with her mate. I felt her tears at the fact that her mate chose her sister. It was gut wrenching. It was then that the tears started flowing down my face.

"Why are you doing this now?" I asked with a sob.

"I need you to understand what I was doing. You need to know what I was protecting you from. I couldn't let you feel any more pain. You weren't strong enough, you were already withering away. You wouldn't have survived. Do you understand what I am saying? Do you get it now? This is only a snippet of what I have been protecting you from! I'm sorry I left you, but I did it to give you your best chance." Lila choked out.

"Please, just stop. I can't deal with this now." The sobs escaped my lips. I didn't want these emotions to crawl under my skin. The longing I felt for my mate and pack heightened like nothing before. It's like a million whispers reached my ears. I could feel my pack calling for me. I could hear their howls in the back of my mind. It was like a chant, an unheard song, one that longed for a true luna. All I wanted to do was shut it down, but the feelings were so overwhelming, it was too hard to ignore. It had been years since I had any contact with my wolf. She was like a foreign entity trying to enter my body.

"Fine, but we must speak soon, Louis- Loretta." She sighed in defeat and retreated into the back of my mind.

It's then that I took a huge gasp of air as the pain and heavy feeling on my chest disappeared. The weight of my body was hanging on the edge of the sink. I lifted my gaze to the mirror, and it was then that I saw my eyes were bloodshot from tears. Despite the fresh shower, a thick layer of sweat clung to my skin.

Calming my breathing down. The erratic breaths that were leaving me were now calm. It was then that my gaze kept switching from the mirror to my hand. My eyesight didn't know what to focus on. It was then that I lifted my hand, which was shaking with tremors. I pushed my hand through my other, trying to feel for the ring that had sat comfortably on my hand for years. I clenched my eyes closed when all I could feel was my skin. My finger felt empty, and the only evidence of my ring was the pale tan lines left behind.

The one thing that had been protecting me, keeping me safe from my mate and old pack, was gone. My ring was missing. It's then that I gasped for air. It seemed as if water had filled my lungs and I was drowning. The anxiety and panic were building. I choked on the oxygen that was trickling down into my lungs.

"Where the fuck is my ring, Lila?" I shouted.

"Gone." She whispered.

It was then that I felt my whole body collapse. My head hit the ground first as the blackness filled my sockets. The thump was loud and echoed throughout the walls. I heard Benji faintly shouting in the background. My ears were ringing, my eyes were fluttering close.

I promised I would never consume another alcoholic drink again. Especially ones that were laced with wolfsbane.

Edited - 08/08/2023