The Elevator

What Could Have Been

After my promise to my wolf I made my way into my assigned bedroom and tried to sleep. I spent the time tossing and turning until I eventually fell into a light sleep. There were so many things rushing through my mind, the most prominent thought was that my wolf was dying and I didn't know if there was anything I could do to help her.

She simply asked me to spend time with her mate and to her it was a simple request but to me all I could was think of the possibilities. What if she takes control and marks his wolf or what if his wolf does the same? After a long conversation we came to an agreement that she could spend time with her mate and if he couldn't change my mind she would accept my decision without a fight. She knew that she didn't have the strength to overpower me and I expressed that if I got any sense of her trying to get marked without my consent I would simply reject him no matter what the consequence was. 

With that she agreed. I knew she wasn't happy about my choices, she wants me to forget the past and move on. What she doesn't understand is that past has made me who I am. I knew it was possible for me to fall in love with Jacob but what she didn't understand was that I could never fully trust him. I had spent the majority of my life being betrayed by the people I love which had caused me to build up walls that would never fall. She would argue that was my choice and I would simply reply that it was the choices that were given to me. I would never be able to trust him because he had abused my trust and never gave me a chance. 

I think to the past and think what could have been if he got over his pride and ego, giving me that chance. It wasn't that I was unworthy, I knew that I was innocent and there were so many things he could have done before making that decision. He simply chose to believe lies, rather than explore and find the truth. I did feel pity for my wolf for she was collateral but in my opinion she was just too forgiving for what he had done. 

As my thoughts were racing the sunlight trickled in through the bedroom window. The sun was rising and I knew that I would have to respect my wolf's dying wish. I quickly got up from my bed taking a relaxing shower and getting ready for the day ahead. Taking deep breaths I straightened my back and made my way out of my bedroom to Jacob's office. 

The pack house was quiet this morning, it was empty there was no one around. I presume yesterday was extremely difficult for most members for they had finally found out the truth. From what I had overheard, many members were upset and hurt about the war with the rouges, this was because some had lost mates and family. They didn't know who to directly blame; some placed it with the Alpha, expecting him to know better. Some of the blame was to placed on my parents who had not educated their daughter and allowed her malicious agenda to take place, I even heard whispers that they blamed me for not speaking up sooner. Emotions ran high yesterday and there was a lot anger and sadness that vibrated through the pack. 

It wasn't before long that I was stood in front of Jacob's office. I relied on my weak wolf senses and could smell his intoxicating scent and hear the faint beat of his heart. It was difficult for me to tap into his emotions because of how fragmented the bond was. I knocked on the door when the defeated voice of Jacob came from the other side. "Come in."

I pushed open the door and peeked my head through. Jacob was sat at his desk looking a various pieces of paperwork when his head looked up and his eyes widened in surprise to see me standing in front of him. I pushed through the doorway and closed the door behind me. I looked at him and took a deep exhale. "May I sit?" I say gesturing to open of the empty seats in front of him. He gave me a quick and enthusiastic nod. 

I sat in the vacant chair and looked at the man who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was messy, like he had been pulling and tugging at the stray ends. My nose inhaled his scent and I could tell that he had yet to shower. I saw him rub his eyes, almost as if I was a mirage in front of him.