Verecund (Criminal Minds)

Chapter 18

A/N: little bit of a longer update for y'all since it's been quite a while since I updated. I've always had a lot of plans for the plot of this story, but fell out of writing recently. Hopefully I'll be getting into more regular updates again. Kinda fluff/mildly emotional scenes incoming, as well as more of a look into Ash's story.

There still weren't any new cases to take when the team returned to the headquarters building. The agents sat at their desks, most doing paperwork and some passing time.

Ash could be found in Penelope's "office" with the bright-baby-blue woman, a place that the teenager had found as a safe space to sit. She sat with a laptop on her thighs, looking through a college application as Penelope prosed on about code. The blonde never expected any response or answer from Ash, she mostly just enjoyed being able to vocalize all of her thoughts without the minor embarrassment of someone walking in on her rambling loudly to herself.

Ash began to tune out Penelope as she stared with scrunched up brows at her college essay rubric. 

"What is it?" Penelope stopped in the middle of her chatter. "That's your thinking face, I know that one. What's wrong, school being difficult?"

Ash scrolled through her rubric again before turning her laptop around. She pointed to the screen. 

"Oh, college applications! I can help with that, where are you trying to go?"

The teen pointed to the University of Mary Washington tab before pointing back to the rubric. She underlined the prompt with her finger.

What do you want people to know about you but are afraid to tell them?

"Oh, so you just need something to write about," Penelope decided, "We can do that. Write out things you think would fit the prompt, and we can narrow down what you can elaborate on."

Ash began fast-moving her hands in sign language. Penelope's face contorted into confusion. "I-I don't know what you're saying, I haven't learned that much yet. Is there something wrong with the prompt? The word count?"

Ash rubbed one palm over the other once, a sign she knew Penelope recognized as Paper. The tech employee paused before making an oh! face, then turned to pick up a half-sized pad of paper and one of her fluffy-ended pink pens. She handed it to the teenager, who began scribbling.

Why would I tell someone something I've never told anyone?

Penelope read the messy-scrawled handwriting. "Well," she said softly, "Maybe it doesn't have to be something you've never told anyone, but you're afraid to tell most people. What's something you want people to know about you?"

Ash shrugged. 

"Well, what's something you wish people understood? Trust me, I know all about wishing people understood you." The blonde made a small laugh with her smile. "Sometimes it just feels like... nobody gets you. You just want at least one person to understand that one thing about you and not make it weird."

Ash scribbled on the notepad again. How does this help me get into college?

Penelope paused again. "Well, it tests your communication," she decided softly. "When you feel vulnerable, you express emotion in your writing or your art. That's how they find your true style." The woman nodded to herself before adding half-humorously, "Plus, all colleges love a good sob story to tell them why you should be able to spend thousands of dollars to learn."

Ash looked down at the laptop that still faced Penelope, her forehead slightly creased. Even if the young teenager spoke verbally, this would be a moment she fell completely silent. Penelope frowned a little before giving Ash a small comforting smile.