13. GLANCES

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I TEND TO OVERTHINK things on multiple occasions

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I TEND TO OVERTHINK things on multiple occasions. And it doesn't help that my conscience has a very vocal voice that doesn't leave me alone. I guess in a sense, that I never truly am alone. But I still don't like to be left alone. That when it gets loud.

I only fear three things

Loud Noises.

Spiders

And being abandoned.

Guess I can thank my sperm donor for the last one.

I first discovered I was afraid of loud noises when I was 7. We went to this really big carnival that came to town. It had rides and games. The whole deal. The night ended with fireworks and as soon as the sound entered my ears, my head started pounding. I couldn't breath. It was suffocating. My father had to hold his hands over my ears while my mother tried to get me to breath. We stayed away from loud noises since.

It was spiders when I was 13. I mean come on. Do I need to explain further?

And abandonment issues speaks for itself.

I guess what I am trying to say is, it's easy to say you fear something such as spiders or the dark. But what's much harder is admitting to believe something that quite possibly could not be true.

Nick might like me.

But he could not and the girls could just be taking things the wrong way.

I'm spiralling.

Eat your feelings out, Elle.

Shovelling my mouth with my mothers potato bake, I glanced over at Nick and saw him already staring at me. But once our eyes met, his head turned back towards Kameron with blush hinting his cheeks.

That's the fourth time, I've caught him today.

"Nick staring again?" Alina asked from in front of me. We were seated at our own table today, seeing as I now have the independence in school.

"I can't figure him out, Alina" I huffed in annoyance.

"Men are confusing in that way. I mean, I once punched Kian in the face because he was annoying me but look at us now" she chuckled at the memory. Note to self, don't mess with Alina or you'll get your face pummelled in.

"You wanna skip next class and go to Starbucks?" Alina suggested, her eyebrow raised.

"Better than being here" I mumbled to her before standing up.

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Our original plan was to go to Starbucks and then go home but then Alina suggested we go to the small carnival on the pier. We played the carnival games, went on all the rides. We were having so much fun. My phone died after we arrived there though because I used up all of my battery in Math class. But it shrugged it off and said it'd be fine because I didn't plan to stay out too late. But when it was darkening and they started packing up, I knew we had been out too long. Alina had driven us in her car, as we decided to just leave mine at school, so she had to drop me off.

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