TMNT: Suicidal Karai

Healing

The turtles and Splinter agreed to not leave Karai alone as she got better, not really trusting her to not try to run off again. Splinter was sitting on the couch with her watching TV, her head resting on his chest and a blanket around her. The turtles went out to grab dinner and Shinigami went to get a few clothes for her.

Splinter looked down at his daughter as she watched her favorite movie, The Tale of Princess Kaguya. It surprised Splinter that his daughter would like a movie like this but as he watched he understood why. Princess was related to his daughter in so many ways. Once a happy, free girl was forced to live in a place that made her unhappy and pretend to be something she wasn't for her father's sake then at the end of the movie, Princess was taken away from her parents never to see them again.

Splinter looked down at his daughter again who had been extremely quiet and had no emotion on her face, but he could tell by her dull red eyes that she was not even close to feeling better. He sighed. "You...remind me a lot of myself when I was young."

Karai was taken aback by that, and her eyes lifted up to look at him. "I was rebellious just like you and I used to feel trapped too. My father was very very strict when I was young, all I ever heard was, "Don't do this, Yoshi. Set example, Yoshi. Get out of your head and be a warrior, Yoshi."

He huffed and shook his head. "My father and I didn't really have a son and father relationship. He was more of a sensei to me than a father. He always had high expectations for me, and I would hate it. Your mother was the only light in my life back then. when I was with her, I felt like I could finally breathe and not have to worry about the pressure my father put me under. When she died and I thought I lost you...I felt like the world was suffocating me and I...got really depressed." He then looked his daughter in the eye. "I want to show you something that I never showed anyone, but it has to be only between me and you, ok?"

Karai nodded and Splinter looked around to make sure they were truly alone before he unbandage his bandages on his arms. Karai's eyes widened a little at the scars on his arms, it was hard to see because of all the fur but if you were close enough, they weren't hard to find.

"I started it when I moved to New York." Splinter started to explain. "Like you, my knife just called out to me one day and it was hard to resist. I wanted to end my life, but I knew your mother would want me to keep fighting so I tried my best for her, but I could hear my sword calling out for me louder and louder each day. Then, I saw baby turtles were for sale and I thought that maybe if I had something to care for then maybe I wouldn't feel this way anymore. After the mutation, I felt even more depressed than I did before, and I thought that wasn't even possible. I lost everything that I loved and knew and now I lost my humanity and I had four infant turtle creatures I had to take care of on top of all that. It was all just...too much. Once I took the turtles and myself somewhere safe, I lifted up my sword ready to take my life when I felt a little hand on my knee. It was Raphael, looking at me, his green eyes studying mine and surprising myself I dropped the sword and picked him up instead." Splinter chuckled at the memory. "He pulled on my ears as soon as I did while laughing, the little brat but for some reason when I heard him laugh for the first time, I felt lighter like I could breathe again. I suppose because his actions reminded me of you, you used to pull on my hair and laugh too."

Splinter sighed. "It didn't all go away in just one night but little by little I had light in my life again and I had a new purpose for living but the turtles could never fill the whole you and your mother had in my heart."

Splinter looked his daughter in the eyes. "Even the strongest of us can fall Miwa, fall very deep into darkness and it's almost impossible to pull yourself out from but when you have people who love you, it becomes easier." Karai smiled and Splinter thought her eyes looked a little lighter. "She's still with you, even if you don't see her."