𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

full cycle

billie

"wakey wakeyyy!" finneas opened the curtains to wake me up from my sleep.

"fuck you motherfucker i was having the best dream." i groaned. "how did you get in?"

"really? what was is about?" he asked. "plus i'm your bother did you really think i would let you live alone without having a spare key with me?"

"non of you business." i replied. "i don't even remember."

"mhm sure." he nodded. "i'm sure this is worth interrupting your sleep." he put the laptop on my lap and i sat up.

"hi" she giggled a little as she looked at her feet. "it's been a year" she paused, looking at the camera, her eyes glistening. "i know today may be hard for you, and that's okay. i really hope you haven't been depressed all year cause that would've been lame, and you don't deserve that."

"i don't know why i'm doing this but i just wanted to tell you, i love you. if you're planing on visiting my grave today, i'll be there waiting for you. that is if i can, if there is a way, i promise i'll be there."

"want know what i just thought of?" she suddenly came into a realization. "we should have a wake up call, like if you need me you just say that word and maybe i'll hear you. i'll find a way for whoever is in charge to do that for us. the word should be..." she paused for a second, thinking of the word. "Amour pour toujours" she smiled.

"that's not a word, but it's french." she shrugged. "it means "forever love" remember that." she stayed silent for a second, looking back at her feet. "you better not be crying cause of me anymore... that's stupid."

"i think this is the last video i'll make... yeah. you've had enough of me, don't you think?" she looked at the camera with a smirk. "you got this, i know you got this. you better have at least had a crush by now, i'll tell you if i approve." she winked, then proceeded to cover her face while laughing. "don't be a pussy, put yourself out there. i got your back too." she continued laughing.

"uhm... always know that i love you. no matter how coco in the head you are, you'll always be my favorite person in the world. take care of yourself, i'll be waiting for you don't forget that." she waved at the camera and kissed the lens before it cut off.

"i don't want this to be the last video." i whispered to myself. i always wondered when the next one was due to come, i waited on thanksgiving, my birthday, her birthday, christmas, new years, but there was always nothing. it's not like i expected her to do this for me but, i always yearned to see her face and that smile of hers telling me "it's going to be okay." or "you got this."

finneas came into the room climbed up the bed to hug me. and for once i didn't cry, i smiled because i think i'm going to be okay. "what are your plans for today?" he asked.

"i'm going to get ready, go buy some flowers then vist her and then go to a meeting i've been waiting to have for so long then i'll see where the day takes me, maybe i'll hang with lucas and cole again." i shrugged.

"meeting?" he frowned. "you don't have work today."

"who said it's work? it's a family meeting." i specified.

"even more confused but okay."

"you don't have to understand everything, golden child." i ruffled up his hair. "now scram out of this room and make me breakfast while i do my morning routine and get ready."

"sorry, i didn't realize i was your maid."

"well now you are, take you dear time preparing the food i might take a while getting ready."