Sexchange ● JJK

• 18 • cuddles? grinding? huh?

Both of your eyes meet, broken and battered at the contact of flesh after so long.

Heart skips multiple beats. It's not enough. Just one touch isn't enough. From doing it regularly to hitting rock bottom in your sex life did you bad. You're as horny as you'll ever be. There's an inappropriate need in you to jump on him, straddle and grind rough, let his wide palms hold your hips, bite your nipples, fill you up with his cock. Be unforgiving and merciless like he was when Jimin fucked you. After that, gentle. Very gentle. Careful like the first time. Just like when he was making sure you're not getting hurt every time his cock inched inside even a bit. Not the shower sex, the one before that. He treated you like a pearl.

Wanna be his precious pearl again.

Sensing no answer, his hand loosened and he looked away, embarrassed. Hand left your wrist, shyly. Why did his ass have to go up and speak? His inability to talk makes it worse when he speaks something finally but it's not met with reciprocation. Your pupils wavered but no sound came out from the constricted throat.

Drained, he slumped back on the couch and faced his back to you. Probably, getting more embarrassed by the second for asking you that. His shivering doesn't decrease despite the comforter, puffer jacket and heat pack. How did he get a fever? Of course, you didn't know what to respond. He wants to suddenly cuddle out of nowhere. Back then, he used to despise it, now, he's asking for it himself.

What makes him think you're gonna give in so easily?

After what he did, you didn't even want to see his face. You were told to fuck off. Nothing's changed...right?

Yeah, he did visit the office building every day but was it due to guilt or actual feelings?

"I'm gonna clean up and make some...chicken soup. How's that sound?" You ask him, softly.

There's no answer from his side. Moving ahead, you see he's asleep already. Still feeling cold. He's sick, you're definitely not cuddling when he's sick. What if you get sick too? Don't wanna risk it for a man like him.

A man who told you to fuck off and broke your beloved bracelet.

Entering into the kitchen again, you start gathering all the take out boxes and throw it in the trash. The Heineken bottles and Budweiser cans get packed up and thrown away too. Empty packets of Marlboro Red have been rejected in a pyramid-like heap. Too much! Just too much! He used to finish one packet in six days first. Looking at the pile in the kitchen's corner, you can estimate he had been puffing at least six cigs per day. That's double than before!

To be honest, apart from the general reason of it being a bad habit, you didn't want him to smoke because it held trauma for you. From the past. When you were 8, the drunk landlord of the farm pressed a burning, lit blunt on your thigh. Scorching you. He wanted you to take off your clothes before him. Even though you were young, you were mature enough to know not to comply, your refusal enraged him. Resulting in him burning you with his lit blunt end. Everyone found out about it and you think your mother reported him. Taehyung was crying his eyes out and after that day, he hadn't allowed you to be near any boy or man. Was quite possessive about you. Treated you like his little baby. Your parents never told you what happened to that landlord but your family moved out of that farm very soon. Your father finally purchased a new patch of land and that was, finally, your home. The memory had washed away now until Jungkook started smoking in front you. After you moved in, the information was quite a shock to you that the star topper hunk smoked. It somehow kept reminding you of the incident. Not that he knew about it, but...He hadn't even noticed the scar on your thigh. Ever. Not during all the time both of you had spent naked together.

If he had a scar from the past, so did you.

Everyone suffers. Everyone deals with shit.

So, the cigarettes did spike an instant dislike but you knew he used them to deal with his problems. You never wanted him to completely terminate, it was okay to start slow. But, it looked as if he wasn't even putting an effort. Gritting your teeth, you threw all the filled and empty boxes of cigarettes into the bin. Ashtray got emptied. You coughed as the fine particles flew down.